Browsing Tag


Uncategorized March 28, 2013

My Dad

Hey Readers,

This is a cheap post, because I am posting the question and not the answer.  It’s a super-busy time now, although the seders are over – I’m still celebrating Passover till next Tuesday night, with my kids off from school, lots of family coming and going, and fun times.  I’d love to hear your thoughts.  That said, here’s a Facebook message from a reader.

Dear Ruchi,

I know we’ve never met, but I follow your blog and I get your emails between Passover and Shavuot.

reason I’m writing you is because of my experience with my newly (about the last 7-10 years) Orthodox father. He is an ordained Conservative rabbi but he hasn’t had a congregation in over 40 years. I
grew up in a town where the closest synagogue was an
hour away. As the town grew, more Jews moved in, until there were finally
enough to have our own synagogue. My dad was not the rabbi – he had
returned to school and became a psychologist.

We were brought up
mostly Reform-Conservative. We didn’t keep kosher or even observe
Shabbat. I married a Reform Jew and we aren’t observant at all.

problem is that we drive from my home town to where my dad lives each year for Passover.
My dad has tried unsuccessfully to get us to attend his Orthodox shul.
We would prefer not to. This year he practically begged my husband to
attend and my husband tried as best he could to politely decline. My
father was more than offended. I don’t understand why it’s so important
to him that we go to his shul. He told me that he is uncomfortable at
and I quote “our church” (we belong to a Reform temple) where our daughter is becoming a bat mitzvah in October.

Thoughts?  Advice?

Uncategorized February 7, 2013

5 Questions Orthodox People Are Happy to Answer

Most Orthodox people that I know just love to talk about being Orthodox and are flattered by interest and curiosity in their lifestyle.  [GENERALIZATION ALERT.]  Here are some questions we’re happy to answer.

1. How did you and your spouse meet?
While we know that the way we meet and date is very different from that of most people, we’re proud of our style and, like most couples, enjoy recounting the process.

2. (For women) So is it hard to shop for clothes?  Where do you find your skirts?
Again, like most women, we like to shop and the thrill of the chase is a good part of it.  So the limitations of our wardrobe make it kind of like a treasure hunt.  When we find a good skirt, we Facebook it so all our fellow skirt-wearers can enjoy.  It’s fun to share how we make “regular” department store clothing or Target finds “kosher” for our use.  Go ahead, ask!

3. How do you guys manage with so many kids?
While sometimes this question will be met with a groan and some eye-rolling, because ALL of us struggle with raising kids (whether it’s one or ten), overall we are proud of having large families and have developed tricks and tips along the way.  So it’s a good feeling to be validated for this and respected for meeting the challenge.

4.  Do you mind that you can’t eat all these foods and that you’re limited with what restaurants you can go to?  What do you do when you travel?
Kosher is another area that is all-inclusive in our lives.  Like most people, when something is a big part of our lives, it’s fun to talk about.  As we do, we revisit these concepts from a fresh perspective (yours) and are reminded that our lives are pretty cool.

5. (For guys) Do you wear your kippah all the time?  What about sports?  Does it ever fall off?  Do you wear it when you sleep?
It’s pretty easy to fall into the trap of habit with observance.  Being reminded about something that is a constant is good for us.

If you are Orthodox, what are some other questions you’re happy to answer?  What are some questions you don’t want to be asked?
If you are not, what are some questions you’ve wondered if you could ask?

Uncategorized January 2, 2013

I Don’t Know What To Say

“I don’t know what to say to her… she’s become so Orthodox…”
Just say hi.
“I wouldn’t know how to answer her questions; what if she
asks me why I wear skirts or something??”
Just say hi.
“He’s intermarried; what should I say when we meet?”
Just say hi.
“I think he became a Buddhist now… I wouldn’t even know what
to talk about.”
Just say hi.
“I think she’s involved in a cult…”
Just say hi.
Just be nice.
Just be friendly.
Show an interest in the human being…
And remember to just say hi.
Even in line at the grocery store.
Even in synagogue.
Even at a wedding.
Even at Target.
Just smile and say hi.
Is it so hard?