Today was my 50th birthday party which I celebrated at JFX with over 250 people. I am so so grateful to have my beloved family surrounding me and my community whom I love so much.

Here’s the talk I gave today.

Thanks to everyone who made my day so special.
I’m grateful to be turning 50 because:

  1. Messing up no longer scares me
  2. The golden girls were in their 50s and I always kinda wanted to be them
  3. I know what I’m good at and I can choose to do more of it
  4. I know what I don’t enjoy and I can do less of it
  5. I love having grown kids whom I can have meaningful conversations with
  6. Grandson!
  7. Being married for 30 years is way better than being a newlywed
  8. I understand people way better than I used to
  9. Time puts perspective on everything — it won’t hurt or be as embarrassing with the passage of time
  10. I’ve learned that most things heal or grow back
  11. I’ve learned that new shiny things get old and less shiny, but if you really love them, it doesn’t matter
  12. I’ve learned how to pick my friends
  13. I’ve learned that I’ll never have time to travel to all the places I want to, and that’s okay
  14. I’ve learned that my experience is just one experience
  15. I’ve met so many different kinds of people to learn from
  16. I have way more power than I used to to steer my own ship
  17. I have the confidence to say no
  18. I’ve learned that no one can hurt my feelings without my permission (E Roosevelt)
  19. I’ve learned to stop saying, “I can’t do that” and started saying, “I can but I don’t want to”
  20. I’ve realized that no one is going to take me to task for my own baloney other than me
  21. I’ve learned that faith is a learned skill, not a natural default setting
  22. I’ve realized that it doesn’t really matter whether I wear makeup or not, unless I want it to
  23. I’ve learned that I will cover my hair however I want, even if others are confused
  24. I’ve learned that I don’t have to teach anyone how to pronounce my name unless I choose to
  25. I’ve realized that I don’t have to listen to any podcast or watch any video or read any article that someone sent me if I don’t have time or interest. I can just thank them for thinking of me without commitment. My time is mine to allocate.
  26. I love not wondering who I am
  27. God and I have been through enough together that I rarely have to wonder where He went
  28. I’ve learned that there are only a few patterns of negative behavior in people and truly just a few short reasons for those patterns. Here they are: pain, shame, insecurity, and desire to be seen. This cuts through a lot of muck.
  29. I’ve learned that whatever quirky behavior I have, someone else has them too, and that the sooner I stop hiding them, the freer and more normal I will feel.
  30. I’ve learned that I don’t always have to say what I think.
  31. I’ve learned that what other people think about me is none of my business
  32. I’ve learned that prayer is not my gift to God, but God’s gift to me
  33. I’m glad not all my memories are clear. This way I can interpret them how I want.
  34. I’ve learned that whenever I write about my deepest experiences, someone else is helped with my words. But when I keep them a secret, I am hurt by them.
  35. I’ve learned that I can never eat as much as I thought, so I need less food than anticipated. Every time.
  36. I’ve learned that although optimism may sometimes be foolish, it’s still the best way to live
  37. I’ve learned that however I look now, in ten years I’ll look back and think I looked wonderful. So why not think that now?
  38. I’ve learned to be grateful for knees and fingers and eyesight
  39. I’ve learned that deep down, all people want to feel loved. People are not actually that complicated.
  40. I’ve come to see that every amazing meal will end with cold leftovers and dirty dishes, but if you play your cards right, the thing everyone will remember is how much they enjoyed each other’s company
  41. I’ve learned that emails can wait
  42. I’ve learned that nothing will happen if I stay off social for a while
  43. I’ve come to realize that every good relationship starts as a gift from God. Then the work is on you.
  44. I’ve learned that if I stick around long enough, God will show me He’s handling stuff. I have never once said, “I’m so glad I worried.”
  45. I’ve come to understand my parents better
  46. I’ve come to realize that when I was ten years old and my grandmother was old, she was the age I am now, and that’s actually extremely liberating because who cares?
  47. I’m grateful to be turning 50 because many don’t get that privilege
  48. I’m grateful to be turning 50 because “50 is the age to give advice” (Pirkei Avot)
  49. I’m grateful to be turning 50 because souls are more important than bodies
  50. I’m grateful because 50 years have brought all of you into my life