Is gratitude cliche?

Yeah, in word.  But not in deed.  So easy to say.  So hard to do.   But truly, Seder night is all about gratitude.

“Thank you, God, for taking us out of Egypt.”

That’s the famous part.  And the prize for the most famous Seder song goes to Dayenu, sung even at the shortest Seders, which is actually one long gratitude-fest.  And phrased just so warmly.  God, even if you would have only brought us to the sea, but not split it for us, it would have been enough… dayenu… to thank you forever and ever…

Imagine your teen comes over to you and says, “Mom, even if you would have only washed my clothes, and not dried them, folded them, or put them away, or ironed them, ever, or cooked dinner, or took me shopping… dayenu… it would have been enough for me to be forever grateful to you… today and every day… for all eternity.”  (Are you still conscious?)

So, yeah.  Easy to say.  Hard to do.

Here’s an idea.  Write a poem for the Seder.  The poem is called “At Least.”  First you write five complaints about your life.

The paint job is already looking old.
My car is making weird noises.
I never have enough time to work out.
I am feeling overwhelmed planning my son’s bar mitzvah.
My things are always missing because people in my family move and misplace them.

Okay, that was the easy part.  Here’s the hard part.  After each sentence, write a companion sentence that remembers the good in that moment.  It will start with the words “at least.”  Like this.

The paint job is already looking old.
At least I was able to paint the house recently.  Many are not able to to do so.
My car is making weird noises.
At least we have two cars that still transport us from place to place, and sometimes it doesn’t make weird noises.
I never have enough time to work out.
At least I have a fulfilling job that I love and people that love and need me, which is why I’m busy.  Many do not.
I am feeling overwhelmed planning my son’s bar mitzvah.
At least I have a healthy, happy son who is growing up in a loving Jewish environment, and I’m blessed with many friends and family who want to celebrate his milestone with us, which is where the overwhelmed feelings come from.  I’d never trade that.
My things are always missing because people in my family move and misplace them.
At least I have a busy, active family.  They are more precious to me than stuff.

Bring this poem to the Seder table, and read it before Dayenu.  It will be your personal gratitude workout.

Because while we know we need to be grateful to God for all the “at leasts,” what we are less cognizant of is that we need to be grateful to Him for the complaints too.  Because they are good for us.  They are there to help us grow.  To teach us gratitude.  To teach us humility.  To teach us to be less judgmental when others complain.

Happy Passover to all my readers.  May the gratitude of the holiday spill over into your lives and, indeed, bring you much joy.  At least, you know it’s in your hands.