Uncategorized Archives - Page 44 of 59

Uncategorized February 8, 2012

Is Hillel Encouraging Going to the Game on Shabbat?

My friend Jessica Bell Semel was describing one of those situations that has the potential to become “one of those” very divisive issues in a community. This took place a couple of years ago – what do you think?

Situation: Parents’ Weekend at the University of Michigan is coming up,
and Hillel sends out a letter detailing various activities that will be
available in addition to the usual offerings from the University. I
think the letter went to parents of current students – no alumni without
Michigan students.

Opportunities: Friday night services (mehitza
minyan, Reform, Conservative, etc.); Shabbat Dinner at Hillel; Saturday
morning services and lunch; block of tickets for the football game (very
hard to get tickets!) and other assorted events.

The letter
just gives links to register for any of the activities, with a link to
the sports office or Football Gods or something, with a code to put in
to get your football tickets. Please note, the seats are not good at
all, but they ARE seats.

Someone sends an email to Michael
Brooks, the executive director, complaining that Hillel is encouraging
people to go to the game on Shabbat.

He sends out a long
response. Basically, he tells us that in close to 30 years at Michigan
he has never been to a football game since he davens and rests on
Shabbat. However, the culture at Michigan (and all Big 10 schools) is
all about Football Saturdays. His point is that Hillel is open to all
Jews, those that observe, and those that do not, and his organization
has managed (through a wonderful relationship with the university) to
get a block of tickets for any parents that may want to buy them. He is
not advocating going to the game, or not going to the game, only
reaching the kids and their parents wherever they are (a big Hillel
goal, anyhow).

As you might imagine, a great email discussion
ensues – and lots of people are engaged. It was great. By the way, the
University does have some kind of an arrangement so that observant kids
who can’t carry on the sabbath can go to the games without bringing
their tickets. I am not sure how it works, but I do know that some
Cleveland kids who are observant do go to the games.

What do you say readers? Let the respectful debate ensue!

Uncategorized January 31, 2012

3 Steps to Fixing the Half-Judaism Trend: guest blogger Leah Weiss Caruso

My friend Leah Weiss Caruso blogs at www.therebbetzinrocks.wordpress.com, which is entirely appropriate because she absolutely does. Rock, that is.

Leah is one of those rare breeds of human who is funny, wise, kind, open-minded, and respectful of those which whom she completely disagrees. She and I agree on many, many things, and disagree on many too. Yet our friendship and mutual respect prevails. Our friendship is an icon for this blog.

And here she is:

Ruchi’s
conclusion in her “Half-Judaism” post is that both parties are
half-right. And half-wrong. They have each only acknowledged half of
Judaism.

I
think Ruchi is spot-on. Being an active, thinking Jew is more than
just being a good person, and it’s more than just keeping kosher. There
is a phrase from our tefillah [prayer], “The World stands on three things: Torah, Worship, and Acts of Loving-kindness.”

Not just one of these things, but all three.

#1:
Torah (Written – 5 Books of Moses; Oral – Mishnah/Talmud): The Jewish
Way as we know it. Kosher, Shabbat, marriage, birth, death, business
ethics, etc. It’s all in there. How each person interprets it . . .
well, that’s a whole other post! But we must acknowledge its place in
our DNA, and find ways to incorporate its spirit, if not always its
letter, into our lives. However, it can’t be our ONLY thing.

#2:
Worship: Fairly obvious. Except, it’s not. Many of us think of prayer
as something we do a couple of times a year in a big room filled with
lots of people and questionable art. Or maybe a Shabbat service here
and there. And for many people, “prayer” hangs over them as a
prescribed thing that is in a relatively foreign language and said to a
deity in which one may or may not believe.

I’m here to say that, at
least for me, “prayer” = the hopes that I have, the dreams that I have,
the gratitude that I have, and how I express all of that and acknowledge
the Divine presence in my life. It’s rarely in the form of what is in
our prayer-books. It is, however, a part of my daily life. I think
it’s integral to being a conscious Jew – being conscious others and of
the world around you. Like #1, it can’t be the only thing you do.
Being pious in prayer alone does NOT = good Jew.

#3: Acts of
Loving-kindness: “good deeds”. Chesed. Charity. Being a good person.
We all strive for this! But it has to go hand-in-hand with #1 &
#2.

1+2+3 = 1. A whole Jew. How we incorporate these things into
our lives is as unique as our fingerprints, but we can’t go “halfsies”
on this. This is our challenge: be a full Jew.

Uncategorized January 30, 2012

Why I’m Still Proud to be an Observant Jew

Still got my head held high
Still so proud I could cry
Trying to be a Torah-observant Jew
is a privilege
an honor
a treasure

Proud of the people that make up my world
Strong women
Kind men
Sweet children, singing pure songs
Respectful teenagers, keeping their language clean, even when so frustrated
Grandparents, who are given the seat of honor and the attention.

Proud of this community
that takes care of the sick
the needy
the stalled cars
just for the mitzvah
non-profits started by individuals in their homes
on every corner.

People
forgiving debt
refraining from gossip
giving 10% of their tight incomes to charity
inviting strangers into their homes
to help a fellow Jew.

My husband, and so many others, who get up while it’s dark
to study some Torah before beginning their day
who find a minyan in which to pray
while traveling
vacationing
who never sleep in…. because they have a higher Boss.

Torah is perfect –
People are not
Is it a surprise that “we” include
the stupid, the rude, the sick, the emotionally disturbed?

Is there any race, religion, neighborhood that doesn’t?
Expectations are exhausting,
impossible.

We’re just people
trying
striving
to live according to the Torah – the one that belongs to us all.

Sometimes we succeed, and sometimes we fail.
But we are trying.

And in the meantime, that makes me proud.
Individuals and communities trying to live meaningful lives
according to our holy Book.

No matter what people may do
or say
my head is held high,
proud, honored, humbled, striving, grateful to be
a Torah-observant Jew
even when
I
fail.

Book cover: "Conversations with God" by Ruchi Koval.

Uncategorized January 26, 2012

Inside the Mind of an Orthodox Worrier

Did you think that if someone has faith in God, they stop worrying? Oh me oh my no.

I happen to have been blessed without the worry bone. Sometimes I wonder if I am, in fact, a Jewish mother. (As it turns out, I am.) But I find that many, many folks have it, big time.

Here’s how the mind of a religious worrier works; by way of explanation, the word “Hashem” is used herein to denote “God” – it’s a respectful Hebrew reference.

From an email I received last week:

This morning I was thinking about this adorable newborn baby I saw
in Macy’s last week. He was in a stroller, hat falling down over his one
eye and he was just watching me as I walked by. It really struck me how
this baby has no worries whatsoever. He doesn’t know that there is
anything in life to worry about and all his needs are currently being
met by his loving parents who were both by his side.

So I said to myself, this is how we are suppose to feel when we
know (really know) that Hashem [God] is taking care of us, just like a loving
parent. We shouldn’t worry, right?

Then I started thinking, at this newborn’s young age, he really
doesn’t have free will and therefore his parents (provided they are
normal) wouldn’t punish him in anyway or deprive him of anything.

Then I started thinking that I have free will and therefore how
Hashem relates to me depends on my free will choices; whether I get His
blessings or a nudge to move me in the certain direction, or G-d forbid,
something much greater then a just a nudge to propel me in a completely
different direction. (G-d forbid, loss of job, change in health, divorce
or death, G-D FORBID!).

So unlike this newborn whose parents only shower him with love and
good things, what Hashem showers me with all depends on my free will
choices.

Emuna [faith].. it’s all ultimately in Hashem’s hands, but I have to use my
free will to make the best choices all the time so that Hashem will
treat me favorably.

On the other hand, I’m taught that if I’m meant to lose my job,
I’ll lose it regardless of how good a job I do and vice-versa.

Several
years ago, my boss kept me on when from a practical standpoint most
employees would have laid me off because work was so slow. I thought he
kept me on because he figured I’d get busy again and then he would have
an experienced employee on staff (not so easy to find in my field). Maybe
that was his thinking. A religious friend of mine said maybe he kept you on
because Hashem felt paying me was like his tzedakah [mitzvah of charity].

When do I ever know if I’ve used my free will properly or to the
fullest? Have I been kind and sensitive enough to my family, co-workers? Have a given my employer his money’s worth? Have I used my money in
ways that Hashem wants me to? Have I used my speech properly, have I
davened [prayed] enough? Have a taken good enough care of my body, this vessel
that He has given me on loan?

I believe that Hashem controls everything and I believe that
everything is for the good. But doesn’t my free will effect how Hashem
chooses to treat me?

I kind of feel like I’m going around in circles with my thinking.

So…does faith make worry easier, or more complicated?

Uncategorized January 25, 2012

Holocaust Survivor Grandparents and Being Orthodox

Poll:
1. Are you Orthodox?
2. Are your grandparents survivors?
3. If you’re not Orthodox, were your grandparents born in America?
I’m trying to decide if there’s a correlation.
What do you think?

(Scroll to the end of the comments for my findings.)

Uncategorized January 23, 2012

Half-Judaism

Some Jews say:

Why do I need to worry about all these commandments? I’ll just be a good person and not bother others. I don’t steal, kill, or commit adultery. Really, that’s what matters in the grand scheme of things.

Other Jews say:

The important thing, what makes us Jewish, is our relationship with God. Prayer, kosher, Shabbat – these are the central Jewish tenets and hallmarks of religiosity.

I say:

You’re both half-right, and you’re both wrong. You’re both incomplete. And you’re each only tapping into half-Judaism.

Uncategorized January 23, 2012

The Roseto Secret of Longevity

Date trees, in isolation, produce dates that are sterile,
not sweet, and not marketable. Date
trees planted in groves, specifically where the branches are intertwined,
produce sweet and delicious dates.

In Roseto, Pennsylvania, a startling discovery was made in
1966. People in that town were living
significantly longer than in any other city in America, even in adjacent
Pennsylvania towns. They died of heart
attacks at a rate only half of the rest of America.

What gave?

They weren’t eating healthier or exercising – but the residents of this
town had one thing its neighbors did not: community. This was largely a town of Italian
immigrants, where the elders sat out on front porches and everyone took
responsibility for one another. This
appeared to be the direct cause of the remarkable longevity of the people of
Roseto.

Dates, people: we need each other. Our very survival depends on it.

On my recent trip to Israel, I decided to stay after the
tour was over for two extra days to shop, pray, and visit. I didn’t make firm plans with anyone,
preferring to be an independent agent and let my day unfold organically.

The first day, I was heady with freedom. I walked wherever I wanted, ate wherever I
pleased and whenever I was hungry, reveled in having no one expect me to be
anywhere. For a working mom, this was so
completely and radically different from my daily existence that I was quite
literally drunk with joy.

The second day, I tried the same gig. But it didn’t feel good anymore. I felt unloved; unmoored. Unneeded, ignored. Anonymous, even rejected. I craved my peeps. When I made my way to the airport much later,
I practically hugged every one of my friends at the airport (okay, I did
actually hug them all). I felt like a
hungry person who just found a meal. A
warm, hot meal, cooked with love and served on a pretty plate.

Hey, I get that I’m an extrovert. An introvert might enjoy the solitude for
longer than I did. But I suspect the
feelings I experienced would eventually surface as well.

Dates… people…

What are your experiences with living in a community?

Related post: Queens Girl, Cleveland Girl

With
appreciation to Dr. David Pelcovitz, a remarkable human being, and his poignant
words at the AJOP Convention last week in Stamford, Connecticut.