Dear Son,

I think the time has come for me to have a very important chat with you.  See, it’s about being Jewish and your future.

I know it doesn’t seem so, but I want to discuss how very important it is for you to marry Jewish.  It’s OK to date any girls, and later, women.  But when it’s time to get serious, please… only Jewish women.  This is a big deal, son.  Don’t let me down.

Dad

Dad,


Not sure how I’ll know till I’m well into the relationship whether it’s “time to get serious.”


Your kid

Dear Son,

If it gets serious, and she’s not Jewish, it’s time to break up.

Dad

Dad.


Seriously??  Is that fair to her?  Or even me?  Are you trying to say I can string her along until it’s no longer convenient for me?  At least give me a good reason to back up your request.


Me

Son,

Life is tough enough.  Keep as many things in common as possible.

Dad

Dad.  


You and mom are both Jewish and still got divorced.

Son,

There were too many Jews killed in the Holocaust.  If you don’t marry Jewish, your kids won’t be Jewish.  We need all the Jews we can get.

Dad.


Bad marketing, there.  Who wants in with the victim?  Blah.

Son,

It’s hard for me to articulate why this is so important.  Being Jewish is part of our identity.

Dad,


How so?  Twice a year?  Grandpa changed our name to sound less Jewish. After my bar mitzvah, we did nothing Jewish most of the year.  Shouldn’t true love trump some silly nostalgia?

Son,

Are you trying to tell me something?

Dad,


It’s too late.  I’m in this relationship already. It’s part of my identity.  Every day… much more than twice a year…

Son…

What could I have done differently?