Freshly arrived back in Cleveland, I was 25 and revved to go. With my husband newly installed as a rabbi and educator, I set forth to create programs and classes to complement his work.
Ever mindful of the “barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen” thing, I (pregnant with #4) doggedly kept my shoes on and avoided any kitchen-talk like the plague.
I created book clubs, organized talks on relationships, and offered philosophy.
And people asked for challah baking, recipes, and Kosher kitchen tips.
Did the Food Network make the kitchen trendy? In a radical pendulum-swing, did people who liked the kitchen make the Food Network trendy? *scratches head in confusion*
Just let me know when I can kick off my shoes.
I do think the reality cooking shows have popularized cooking and made it something that people think about, talk about, and take an interest in – my brother (who's always enjoyed eating) has turned into quite the experimental chef as a result of shows like Masterchef Australia.
I'm unmarried, but I see no conflict between a desire to bake and cook and being an independent woman. However, I will say that there seems to be a general trend (if my Pinterest account is anything to go by) for more traditionally "womanly" pursuits making a resurgence. I can only hope that people are realizing you can be a feminist, and have intellectual pursuits, and be a well-rounded person and still enjoy beautifying your home and cooking for those you love. I see no reason why they should be mutually exclusive.
I like what Maya said – that's it's possible to be an intelligent, multi-faceted women who also loves cooking.
Because it totally is! I wasn't in the kitchen much before I was married (my mom doesn't like to cook, and I was always too busy with other pursuits). However, in the past four years, I've discovered how amazingly creative cooking can be, and also how rewarding it is to make something from scratch and have it nourish my entire family. That's cool.
I don't watch the Food Network, and I didn't get into food blogs until very recently, so I don't think it's necessarily cultural influence which prompted my interest. I think the desire was there, and it just didn't have an outlet until I had people to cook for.
Hi, Ruchi. I enjoy your blog– and your intellect and sensible approach to the spectrum of Jewish observance– immensely. In response to your well posed questions, I think that Judaism and its foods are so integrally linked in our minds; we couldn't separate the two even if we wanted. And why would we want to? For my family it's challah on Shabbos, mandel bread at Pesach, dried fruits on Tu Bishvat, sufganiot and latkes at Chanukah. There's an old joke that the vast majority of Jewish holidays have the same theme: They tried to kill us, We survived, Let's eat!
I pride myself on my homemade challah (when I have the chance to make it: frequently I cheat and pick it up from the bakery), but as a busy, over-programmed, working mother, I'm thrilled to report that in our household my husband makes a fabulous brisket and serves as a fine sous-chef for involved dishes like tzimmes. I think the pendulum swing back toward cooking (as reflected by the food channels on TV) are the result of the "guilties" that, in turn, are the result of busier lives that prevent us from daily cooking. The mindset, I think, is: I may not cook a huge meal from scratch each and every day (the way my mom did), but occasionally I can spend serious time in the kitchen and turn out gourmet fare. Add to that mentality the Jewish love for the full belly, and it's a match made in heaven.
I think that it's very possible to have both. Time on the other hand is lacking when you work more then full-time. We also live in a time where chore/role sharing/swapping is more frequent and that helps immensely. I don't think that it's always the 'woman barefoot in the kitchen' and doing all the household chores. I find that my husband and I split tasks: I do the shopping and most of the cooking, but he does all of the laundry (for the most part) and quite a bit of the cleaning. He also washes up the dishes after every meal which makes my efforts cooking feel appreciated! So my time spent in the kitchen is made up by the fact that I'm not spending time on other tasks. In that way I feel lucky – many of my friend's husbands do not have the same chore/role mentality splitting as my husband. And unlike many people, because I cook for someone with multiple food intolerances, I can't get away with packaged food or take out – no Thursday night take out nights at our house. Everything is made from scratch. I do quite a bit of in bulk cooking and freezing meals so I know that if there's a rushed day I can pull something out of the freezer.
Men do the "hard" work while women sit on their bums and take care of a house for a few hours a day and eat bonbons. Or something.
"Women's work" has always, always been undervalued in Western society–caregiving, cleaning, cooking, etc are still looked down upon in today's secular culture and I think this is something that Orthodox Judaism has always gotten right (efforts of stay at home wives/mothers haven't been denigrated in the O. communities I've wandered through).
I consider myself a feminist, but I think the feminist movement failed, and failed horribly. It did not liberate women from gender determinist roles in society; it doubled or tripled their assignments. I see this new fascination with cooking (and domesticity as a whole) as a teeny tiny step in the right direction of:
a) valuing a woman's CHOICE to select what she devotes her time to
b) appreciating the work that goes into household maintenance, regardless of who does it and
c) a more equal distribution of household affairs based on interests and skill instead of gender-defined aptitude.
Sign me up.
Maya and Rivki: yes! agreed.
Shoshana: thank you so much for your kind words. It means a lot to me! and welcome to OOTOB. I think the "guilties" are for sure a big deal. A future post, perhaps.
Hilary: add me to the club of blessed women. Mine does carpools, baths, grocery shopping… we think in another life he was a chef. He loves puttering around the kitchen and turns out a wicked potato kugel and cholent. So I'm super grateful. The everything-from-scratch thing must be tough. But that's how people view me – and my kosher limitations. Thanks for weighing in.
mikvahbound: very interesting re: feminism. Fascinating, in fact. The food shows still feed this unreality though: all food prepped in cute little bowls, and who does cleanup exactly?
Heck, yeah, I want to be in the kitchen! I love the ability to create something that I and my family will benefit from in a very real, concrete way.
Also, I have never found anything so easy to connect over as food. It sure beats talking about the weather. I have used "recipe talk" to foster many a friendship, since it is a pareve (no pun intended!) topic of conversation that is not likely to offend many (including my non-frum family members).
As for the husband/wife delegation of duties, I'd rather not share what we do in our house, since I don't want an ayin hara, but let's just leave it at the fact that I'm very happy with my hubby's contributions 🙂
Ruchi, that's exactly my problem with the Rachel Ray "Dinner in 30 minutes" type shows. Yes, I think parents in general value home-cooked meals and family dinner around the table. Encouraging people to make that a reality is GREAT. The show does an awesome job of showing people a)how to multi-task in the kitchen to get a meal done quickly and b)the order in which to start different dishes while preparing a meal. (My boyfriend's roommate started steaming the asparagus the other night before he had cleaned, tenderized, seasoned and started cooking the chicken, as one example of what I think this show helps people understand when making meals.)
But, my beef (haha) with that show is that Rachel Ray opens the fridge to find… a bowl of chopped onions. And precisely measured, diced peppers. The prep work isn't included in that count of 30 minutes and thus it's NOT accurate. It only shows "the fun stuff" and not all the work that goes into the meal: planning, shopping, preparing, cleaning. This once again perpetuates the "homemakers are lazy: a meal only takes 30 minutes a day, the house cleaning another hour… what do they DO all day?!' mentality. Hence the teeny, tiny step in the right direction.
Great post topic!
I think the food network is problematic when it wanders into the realm of "food porn" – objectifying and fetishizing food for it's own sake without context or limit.
That said, they don't fall into that trap very often (except on Iron Chef. Which I know because… a… a friend told me about it. Yep, that's how I knew.)
ahem
Anyway, the thing I haven't seen anyone mention about the intersection between the Food Network, "traditional" women's jobs (ie: bun in the oven and barefoot in the kitchen) and feminism is that , by showing cooking for the challenging art form that it is and by presenting a variety of male role-models in that context they've made it clear that the only thing keeping husbands OUT of the kitchen is their own unwillingness. Not because it's "women's work".
Finally, it makes perfect sense to us over at edibletorah.com that you offered philosophy but were asked about filo dough. It's amazing how, when we look to feed our soul, we consistently look for ways to feed our whole selves as well.
Et, now THAT is a fascinating observation.
Ha! So glad you shared this with me.