DISCLAIMER: I am not a foodie.
One of my healthy foodie friends asked me the following question:
“What’s up with the world of traditional Jewish food? Why is it so slow to change?” Do you know what she’s talking about? I will tell you. Potato kugel, with lots of oil (yum!). Cholent, with red meat. Challah, that’s really cake. Gefilte fish and chicken soup (double yum!). Ooh, I’m making myself hungry. Good thing it’s Thursday.
So I do try to be healthy and eat healthy, but seriously, the definition of what that is, is consistently changing. Dairy: good/bad? Eggs: good/bad? Fish: good/bad? When I have a new Shabbat guest, here’s what I used to ask: “Any food allergies?” Now, I ask: “Any food allergies? Vegetarians? Vegans? Do you eat fish/eggs? Gluten-free?” So yeah, the playing field has changed.
Does “healthy eating” mean no potato kugel? Cuz I can use sweet potatoes, less oil and no eggs, and guess what? It ain’t everyone’s favorite potato kugel no more. Yeah, yeah, it’s all about moderation… it’s not either/or, it’s “and”… I know all this. Two factors, though, make it complex.
1. I have kids.
2. I’m a big believer in (cue Tevye) “tradition!”
So firstly, my kids have, ahem, strong opinions about the foods I cook and serve. Especially for Shabbat and holidays, which are sacrosanct. But moreover, *I* want my kids to get a huge dollop of tradition each time we celebrate these Jewish moments.
When I used to walk in from school on Friday afternoon, the house smelled heavenly! Like challah, roast chicken, and that awesome potato kugel. And you know what? My love affair with Judaism oozes from what I’ve experienced with not just my mind, but all five senses. What Shabbat smells like, tastes like, sounds like, feels like, and looks like are extraordinarily important. My veins flow with this stuff. And I want it to, for my kids as well.
How much can I tamper with the favorites till it’s just not traditional any more?
I know that many of you place a much lesser emphasis on “tradition” than I… some argue that change and progress are far more important. But to folks like me, how to balance?
Thoughts? Input? Tips?
At the risk of sounding glib, make new traditions! You will all be happier in the end.
Disclaimer: I AM a foodie.
There are more kinds of Judaism, and more kinds of Jewish cuisine, then the Eastern European Ashkenazi one. A number of years ago I invited a few of my then-coworkers to eat a meal with my family in the Sukkah. We had a Moroccan meat pie, a cranberry sauce garnished with oranges and almonds, spaghetti squash with spicy tomato sauce, and a few other Sephardi side dishes.
After the meal one of my guests said "When you invited me, I was reluctant to accept, because I was expecting brisket and potatoes. This was nothing like what I expect from Jewish Cuisine."
Ok. This is a tough one! I totally agree with you – I want my kids to have the same sensory memories that I have. I AM a major foodie, and I am very much into making sure everyone is healthy (kale is a regular on our weekday menus, etc). Here is how I've balanced it:
One Friday night and one Saturday (different weekends) a month is designated for new foods, healthy updates of classics, etc. The rest are pretty traditional. I also balance this with as much healthy weekday eating as I can. No packaged foods, no take-out, etc. Mostly 🙂 There are lots of healthy options that are not expensive or difficult to prepare.
When I have a deadline and I need a quick meal I try to go for tofu straight out of the container and pasta or rice. Sometimes I don't quite make it and Macky Wack (what my daughter calls it) or hot dogs make an appearance. But because most of the time we eat pretty well, I don't stress about it or have any guilt, actually.
I also use the 8 day holidays as an opportunity to bring in other Jewish cultures. Plenty of options there!
But I do loves me my potato kugel 🙂
Some people have preferences not to eat fish, dairy, etc., but I don't think the national dietary guidelines change that much from year to year. You can find the guidelines and lots of resources on the USDA site: http://www.choosemyplate.gov/
I would guess that a few "traditional" meals a month wouldn't matter too much if serving sizes are reasonable and the other meals are healthy. But if a doctor tells someone their diet is causing health problems, then they need to put aside tradition for the sake of their health.
For me, Jewish food is Jewish food. I am more tha. Happy t
Ruchie,
There are a host of healthy kosher cookbooks out there. Search for "healthy kosher" on Amazon. I have tried a few and some are better than others at approximating the old favorites but in a lighter form. I find sometimes it's best to change just one or two things rather than up-end the whole recipe. My noodle kugel calls for six eggs. I drop out two of those and substitute apple sauce, and cut the sugar. It's still great. Two eggs and four egg-size blobs of applesauce, that'd be a different story.
Sometimes anti-tradition can be the tradition. My husband loves "taco Shabbos." I make Mexican food and you can build your own taco or burrito or taco salad. It doesn't feel so Shabbosdik to me, but it makes my husband happy. Or, I make BBQ chicken as opposed to roast chicken, and leave the rest of the menu the same. Daughter who eats EVERYTHING with BBQ sauce on it is over the moon. It may not be TRADITION! but it makes my family feel loved and enhances Shabbos because the rest of the week, when DH or I are cooking, it's "you get what you get, and you don't get upset." And making Shabbos special is TRADITION, even if it comes in the form of meatloaf and mashed potatoes with green beans (That's another special request Shabbat dinner from the family.) rather than roast chicken and potato kugel.
Seriously, traditional, Ashkenazi-style food is one of my favorite things to eat. I don't think I've been to the New York area without making sure I get a good fix of knishes and matzo ball soup in years. No, it's not health food, but I think if you balance out the heavy, fatty stuff on Shabbos with healthier stuff during the week, it probably evens out. It's like anything else; eating burgers every day isn't a great idea, but there's nothing wrong with one every once in a while.
I'm friends with a couple from my synagogue back home, and because of a bunch of random allergies and gluten issues, a huge percentage of traditional Shabbos food is off limits for the wife, so they tend to have less typical stuff at dinner (lots of quinoa, sweet potatoes and other things of that nature). While it's not the usual, Ashkenazi, potato-centric fare, it's actually really good and probably healthier. And as others have pointed out, if you make a non-traditional recipe often enough, it'll become traditional, at least in your family. My mother makes an awesome chicken katsu curry (we aren't remotely Japanese, for the record- just had this in a restaurant and loved it); she tried it once, we loved it, and now it's a family favorite.
I grew up with the classic meals for shabbat and yom tov, but since our family are foodies (extended family even) over the years things have changed. we now make home made whole wheat challah and use different spices on top. house still smells good.
our fall back meal on shabbat is chicken soup and make your own sushi. someone makes up a pot of vinegar rice and we roll our own at the table with a 'buffet' of fillings. most of the time, even if i make a separate meat course, we have all eaten so much sushi, no one wants it. its a new tradition and since we love sushi, its one that works well for us all. we also really miss chicken soup when we stop making it for the summer but we are happy when we start again in the fall.
my chicken soup is more like a hot wet salad with chicken in it, so its healthy and yummy too.
There are many times when I "look in" on the born-Jewish experience of my friends, congregants, and boyfriend with a twang of jealousy. I don't have those memories of traditional Shabbos smells (as one of many examples); I never will. Sometimes I really feel like I'm missing out because it's hard as a convert to build your own minhag, or to forge the emotional connections that I see you so strongly writing about here with those of your "adopted" Jewish family, or your born-Jewish significant other.
On the other hand, as a person who does generally love food, I love that I can make a traditional Ashkenazi meal one week; a Sephardic another; a mix another; and some of my foods another… and not have anyone look at me side-eyed. It's a month full of very different Shabbat meals, and I look forward to them all, for very different reasons. I did a Ashkenazi-Sephardi Rosh HaShannah and my boyfriend was "unhappy" at the beginning because it didn't match his mother's traditional menu… by the end he said it was the best he ever had.
If Shabbos for you is only, and could only ever be, the Shabbos of your childhood–the one that enamored you of our traditions–then I say look at you as an adult Jew and what Jewish mother (okay, parent) wouldn't be proud?