In response to yesterday’s post about not judging those that have left Orthodoxy, a regular reader of mine emailed me this thoughtful response:
Ruchi, I truly enjoy your postings and I believe that your posting
on the formerly Orthodox is poignant in light of Chanukah (pun intended).
on the formerly Orthodox is poignant in light of Chanukah (pun intended).
I
know more than one formerly Orthodox person who holds his upbringing as
responsible for his outcome – that is, not being Orthodox today. But
and yet, these formerly Orthodox people that I know still want (I would say even
cling to) certain aspects of Judaism that they cannot disengage from:
any invite to a Shabbat dinner they accept; lighting Chanukah candles
and saying their prayers, absolutely; hearing the shofar on Rosh
Hashanah, yes; putting on a kippah when going to a kosher restaurant
with friends.
know more than one formerly Orthodox person who holds his upbringing as
responsible for his outcome – that is, not being Orthodox today. But
and yet, these formerly Orthodox people that I know still want (I would say even
cling to) certain aspects of Judaism that they cannot disengage from:
any invite to a Shabbat dinner they accept; lighting Chanukah candles
and saying their prayers, absolutely; hearing the shofar on Rosh
Hashanah, yes; putting on a kippah when going to a kosher restaurant
with friends.
I could go on and on, but suffice to say, I think we all
cling to tradition – Orthodox or not, just sometimes it’s fraught with
anxiety and other times, it’s very connected to prayer, spirituality,
and/or acceptance in a community.
cling to tradition – Orthodox or not, just sometimes it’s fraught with
anxiety and other times, it’s very connected to prayer, spirituality,
and/or acceptance in a community.
I think that goes for all Jews, not
just formers or currents [formerly or currently Orthodox]. How often do the prayers we say slip away
and we’re just saying it by rote? As someone who became more observant
over time, I can easily imagine how easy it would be to slip and fall.
just formers or currents [formerly or currently Orthodox]. How often do the prayers we say slip away
and we’re just saying it by rote? As someone who became more observant
over time, I can easily imagine how easy it would be to slip and fall.
I
am lucky that I had an education that provided me with various
alternatives to practice within Judaism and the strength to practice as a
now Orthodox woman, who has very strong ties to my upbringing (my
ideology/philosophy on Judaism really reflects my upbringing yet is
mixed with the changes I have experienced over time). This, and what I
think is the most important (for me) was the ability to engage with
Judaism as an intellectual – it’s not just about doing, it’s about doing
with the knowledge of what I am doing with an awareness of where it has
come from.
am lucky that I had an education that provided me with various
alternatives to practice within Judaism and the strength to practice as a
now Orthodox woman, who has very strong ties to my upbringing (my
ideology/philosophy on Judaism really reflects my upbringing yet is
mixed with the changes I have experienced over time). This, and what I
think is the most important (for me) was the ability to engage with
Judaism as an intellectual – it’s not just about doing, it’s about doing
with the knowledge of what I am doing with an awareness of where it has
come from.
We as a Jewish community need to provide, maintain and sustain a
support system for both Orthodox, non-Orthodox and formerly Orthodox
peoples to feel comfortable/confident as Jews and to be united in the
miracle that we begin celebrating at sundown tonight – that we are
strong when united and that Jewish practice cannot be taken away.
support system for both Orthodox, non-Orthodox and formerly Orthodox
peoples to feel comfortable/confident as Jews and to be united in the
miracle that we begin celebrating at sundown tonight – that we are
strong when united and that Jewish practice cannot be taken away.
Like
what the other posters have said, lighting tonight reminds us, as it
should everyone, that no matter how we practice we (all Jews) are a
nation that are a light to the other nations – what any of us does
reflects/refracts back to everyone else.
what the other posters have said, lighting tonight reminds us, as it
should everyone, that no matter how we practice we (all Jews) are a
nation that are a light to the other nations – what any of us does
reflects/refracts back to everyone else.
Thank you Ruchi and Chag Chanukah Samaech [happy Chanukah] to you, your family and all your readers!
What do you say, readers? Agree? Disagree? Ideas? Is anything special being done in your community to provide that support system?
Happy Chanukah and thanks to all of you that are participating in these important conversations about Judaism!