This post is inspired by Renee of Dr. Fried’s office!
So yesterday my son had an orthodontist appointment. Which means that Renee asked me about 50,000 questions about Judaism. And she made a comment that really made me sad.
She said that some of her friends feel that Orthodox people are hypocrites.
I asked her what she means and she mentioned an example (I don’t want to get specific due to the rules of lashon hara – gossip) where Orthodox people had done something wrong.
She said she thinks people expect Orthodox people to be “better than that,” to be an example. Or at least that if they consider themselves to be “better than other people” they ought to at least live up to that notion.
This is problematic both logically and morally.
1. A hypocrite is someone who preaches one thing, and behaves in a way that is different from what he preaches. Not all Orthodox people are preachers. If a rabbi misbehaves, or a teacher of Torah, OK – that’s hypocritical.
2. Otherwise, this is called being “inconsistent.” All humans are inconsistent. Does anyone ALWAYS speak kindly? Act morally? Eat healthfully? Of course not. Some people gossip but eat kosher, others refuse to gossip while sitting at a non-kosher restaurant. Both of these are inconsistent – but not hypocritical. And still far better than doing neither.
3. The epithet “hypocrite” is very strong and negative, and should be used sparingly and carefully.
4. Just because someone is Orthodox, doesn’t mean he has a strong relationship with God or with a rabbi, which are things that will help deter bad behavior.
5. Judaism requires us to give the “benefit of the doubt” in a given situation. That means if we see something that seems odd, we are required to say, “maybe they don’t realize that’s wrong, maybe I don’t have the whole picture…” Otherwise, this is called being judgmental, which is perhaps just as bad as being hypocritical.
6. Anyone who is identifiably Jewish has a responsibility to understand that his actions will serve as an assumption point for all Jews of his affiliation. So if you’re wearing a kippah/yarmulke, you’d better be driving courteously. If you’re wearing a headscarf, you’d better wait in line patiently at Heinen’s. Because right or wrong, others will judge all religious Jews by your actions.
And finally, we have to recognize that as Jews, we are constantly being assessed by the non-Jewish world. How do we want them to view us? To treat us? Are we treating each other that way?
What are your thoughts on hypocrisy among Jews?
I looked up "hypocrite" in Merriam Webster's and it says, "a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion". I would not apply that just to preachers. I believe it is a more general term.
I wouldn't call someone a hypocrite just because they did something like pushing in line. I feel like that's a case where someone just got impatient and didn't think. However, when people claim to be religious and do blatantly immoral things, then yes they are hypocrites.
It actually really bothers me that people use the fact that some Orthodox Jews behave poorly as some kind of criticism of Orthodox Jewery. Give me a break! People are human, which means they are imperfect. Just because you wear the garb and identify as some brand of Orthodox doesn't make someone perfect. It just means they might be trying.
Sarah, if the virtuous behaviors are genuine, but out of sync with the non-virtuous activities, does that make the virtuous ones false? Would you call someone who is kind but eats non-kosher a hypocrite?
Ruchi, not necessarily but I think it depends what the behaviors are. Sometimes people do things that are not in and of themselves virtuous or even religiously mandated, but that serve to align themselves with a particular religious community. So if, for example, someone wears an unusual style of dress that is associated with a religious community, and then commits a terrible crime, I think there is an element of hypocrisy in their behavior. The choice to wear a certain style might be appropriate if the rest of their actions were in line with the community's values, but if not then the clothing was just a costume they put on to deceive people.
I wouldn't call the kind person who doesn't keep kosher a hypocrite because many people don't believe in keeping kosher, but do believe in being kind. So I don't imagine that someone's kindness would be a false front. I guess I would consider a kind person to be hypocritical if they only pretended to be kind to gain trust and then victimized people in some way.
Oops–the comments from "Sarah" and "Sarah Brodsky" are both from me. I accidentally was logged in to gmail one time and not the other. Not trying to confuse anybody. 🙂
I hear what you're saying, Sarah. It also bothers me when people adhere to the physical appearances of certain Torah communities and yet act in a way not consistent with that community.
I appreciate that you qualified the statement as "containing an element of hypocrisy."
However, I wonder about those situations. I'm not sure if it's deliberately putting up a false front.
I imagine those Jews who have done terrible crimes came to behave that way gradually, and perhaps still wanted to correct their actions but were entrenched in their mistakes. I also imagine that those Jews are still doing some of the mitzvos.
At what point in the slippery slope of misbehavior should a person stop dressing like an Orthodox Jew to not be considered a hypocrite? How big does the crime have to be to negate any other positive actions the person is still doing?
Rivki, thanks for your response. I do see some of these actions as being a false front because I think many behaviors are interconnected. It's not necessarily that someone does a good thing here and bad thing there and we don't know which outweighs the other. For example: suppose there's a "kosher" butcher who appears to be very careful about the laws of shechitah. He's always checking to make sure he uses the right equipment and procedures, etc. Then, he slaughters a pig and sells the non-kosher meat to his unsuspecting customers. I think we can say that that person behaved hypocritically. It's not that he was sincere about using the right kind of knife and he just made the wrong choice of animal. Being careful about the knife isn't meritorious if you slaughter a pig.
Not everything is analogous to that but some actions are related to each other that way.