I’ve discovered that there are four types of bloggers:
1. Professional bloggers, who blog about their industry: computers, law, crafting, running.
2. Personal bloggers: blogging about a personal journey such as marriage, conversion, raising a special needs child.
3. Sporadic bloggers, who occasionally muse on whatever. Nothing formal here.
4. Negative bloggers, who blog to spew, vent, and dis, expose, and stir up the pot.
I find this final category extremely disturbing.
I am by nature a positive person. I know there are negative things to be encountered in this world, and I avoid them like the plague. I hope I am like my grandmother, who was dealt a pretty rotten hand and has the warmest heart full of faith. (Not the rotten hand part.) I associate with wholesome people and look for the good whenever possible. Not because I’m special, but just because that’s my orientation.
But now that I’ve become a part of the blogosphere, I am encountering that negativity. People whose every online encounter is loaded with negativity. Ewww! I’m allergic. It almost makes me want a divorce from the blogosphere. It’s disturbing. It haunts me. I can’t sleep at night.
What to do?
I, too, am deeply troubled by the negativity spread by people on the internet. It hurts that people are so unhappy in their own lives that they feel it would make them happy to bring people down. I hope negative comments are not a common problem for you and that negative "parody" posts/etc do not become an issue for you.
My husband calls me Pollyanna because I don't see so much of the negativity and it shocks me when it occurs because I've forgotten so much of it.
I hear you. And I struggle in that I continue to return to sites with great negativity, even though I know they are no good. But…sometimes they lead me to great blogs–like yours–so, I keep going back.
(Definitely adding you to my blog reader, by the way! I am a Christian woman, but I love reading about how my sisters of other faiths live. I'm loving your blog!)
I think a lot of people are negative on the Internet because they are divorced from the repercussions. They aren't saying it to anyone's face, and there are no real repercussions, except more negativity, which probably doesn't bother them.
I think the key when you realized you've stumbled on a little black cloud of a blog is to just hit that little x in the upper right corner as soon as you see it. Hard to do, but we do that in some form or another in our daily lives when dealing with negativity (someone trying to tell us lashon hara, kvetchy children). There is more on the Web, but easier to tune out. I've tried clicking a mouse in my kid's direction when the fight, but nothing happens. 😉
Don't let the negativity keep you up at night, and don't run away, either. Instead, you can do what I try to do, and be a force for good and positivity in the Blogosphere!
And don't read the negative blogs. Delete the negative comments (that's not comments that are respectfully disagreeing, folks, but mean, nasty comments which aren't going to contribute to the discussion). Pretend that they don't exist.
That's my method for dealing with this upsetting aspect of blogging. I can't read anything like that or I also get physically upset.
K and Jenna, welcome to OOTOB, and thanks for your kind words. And thanks Amy and Rivki as well. It's guys like you that keep me going!
It's great to be cheery and happy, but then there's no chance for change. Also you run the risk of people not taking you seriously.
Also blogging is just like chatting with a group of friends. If you never ever say or hear anything negative, even when no LH is involved, then being upset about negative blogs makes sense. But I doubt that the ladies here never ever complain about anything. In fact, I am friends with some of you and you complain to me on more than occasion:)
Hey I am also called Pollyanna. My brother in law periodically says to me, "So on the planet that you live on, does the sun always shine and are bunny's always hopping around on green grass?" and I say, "Yes, that is exactly what it looks like on my planet."
Ruchie, keep up your positive attitude and keep on doing your great work.
As for the negative comments, on my planet, I have a delete button.
I'm really enjoying your blog. As to the negativity in the blogosphere – I think the internet in general has enabled people to feel as though they can shoot off whatever horrendously racist/offensive/sexist/whatever comment they feel like, because there's no accountability. People hide behind anonymity and pseudonyms, and that seems to remove the filters I'm guessing (hoping?!) are generally on in polite company. It's a shame, because there's a lot of great stuff to be learned on the internet, but the negativity seems an inherent part of the package at this point :(.
What to do?
The simplest solution is to ignore those blogs that you feel are negative.
Obviously, you can tune out the negativity. But I think it's important to really truly understand that a lot of the negativity stems from a place of pain, hurt and resentment. It helps me to channel a feeling of pity toward these people, not frustration. And to be extremely sensitive to those around us, because we never really know who will come back to blog about the negative interactions they've had with us.
this isn't a blog issue… this is a human issue. Some people are thinkers, some givers… and some spewers of hate. That's life, sadly. There is no reason to let it ruin you – just do your part.
BTW I have really been enjoying your blog since I found it last week. 🙂
Shavua tov, very true. Many blogs are disturbingly negative.
Rabbi Oliver of "A Chassidishe Farbrengen" wrote a posting very similar to this, of relevance, which I recommend:
http://a-farbrengen.blogspot.com/2009/01/frum-blogosphere.html
Adina: I live on your planet! And I wouldn't want to live anywhere else.
M: that is a very good point. That is why I blog under my real name. This is really me, and this is really my life. I am not whitewashing anything.
Mark: I have a new resolve to just that.
RLSB: Also a very good point. To whose life are WE contributing negative experiences?
Elle: thank you! And welcome to OOTOB!
Yossel, I enjoyed the link – thanks.
Welcome to the blog, for those of you that are new!
You left out the single biggest blogger group.
The single girl/I hate shidduchim group.
But anyway, just look at the bright side. It's so much better that the negative bloggers have a place to vent online and spend less time spreading negativity offline.
I just don't visit or read blogs I don't enjoy.
So..consider that a compliment.
David, welcome to the blog 🙂
And thanks for the compliment.
Considering that wasn't my challenge (see related post "So, How Did You Guys Meet?") I can't judge. If I went through misery trying to find a husband, I might be negative too.
But I question your premise: I find more time spent being negative online may very well beget more negativity in general. It feeds on itself.