This post was inspired by my bloggie friend Nina Badzin, whose post was in turn inspired by Kristen Ploetz. Here are 9 questions that us writers wonder about other writers. Here are my answers.
1. Do you share your work with your spouse? Does it matter if it’s been published yet? I rarely show anything to anyone before I write it. I write spontaneously and usually share instantly. On rare occasions, I’ll ask my husband if he thinks I should blog about something before I do, because his sense of caution is a good balance to my spontaneity.
2. How much of your family and/or closest “friends in real life first” read your stuff…let alone give you feedback about it? My mother, mother-in-law, one sister, and one sister-in-law (I have a lot more than that) read regularly. Sometimes I will get feedback – usually not.
3. What do you do with the pieces that continually get rejected–post on your blog? Trash? When do you know it’s time to let it go? I actually first starting blogging when I started pitching pieces and they were rejected. I just picked up my toys and started my own sandbox, basically. I usually pitch pieces to places like Aish.com or Kveller that wouldn’t really work on my blog. My blog is different from my online publishing pieces. I don’t know that I can really define that difference.
4. Are there pieces you write for one very specific place that, once rejected, you just let go of, or do you rework into something else? I’m more of a blogger than a piece-pitcher so… not really. I have totally let go of pieces when I realized halfway through that they just weren’t working. For example, I started a piece that I was going to pitch for Kveller about how if we look at the biblical families, they were full of dysfunction which should make us feel better as parents (if we have a little tiny slice of dysfunction ourselves, for instance). But the piece was coming out all wrong, just throwing our biblical heroes under the bus, and I dropped it. Which is very hard for me to do.
5. What is your main source of reading-based inspiration (especially you essayists)? Blogs? Magazines? Journals? Anthologies? Book of essays by one writer? Other blogs or articles. Also, books I’ve read that I want to share with my readers. But some of those reviews take much longer to blog about than other pieces, so I procrastinate. I actually have three books I want to review but no time to review them seriously. They are: Becoming Frum, The Year of Living Biblically, and With an Outstretched Arm, a memoir by BJ Yudelson. I probably have to let go of my need to write entire book reports. This may or may not happen.
6. What tends to spark ideas more for you: what you see/hear in daily life or what you read? What I see and hear in daily life. Conversations on the ground are much more interesting to me than articles, and I know the people behind them so there’s a lot more nuance and context.
7. Who have you read in the past year or two that you feel is completely brilliant but so underappreciated? Quiet by Susan Cain. I don’t think it’s actually underappreciated at all, but it is complete and total brilliance.
8. Without listing anything written by Dani Shapiro, Anne Lamott, Lee Gutkind, or Natalie Goldberg, what craft books are “must haves”? Since I don’t know any of those people, I am probably woefully underqualified to answer that.
9. Have you ever regretted having something published? Was it because of the content or the actual writing style/syntax? When I read my old posts, which I’m doing in assembling my e-book, I marvel (sarcasm alert) at what I thought was funny, which I now feel is just cringe-worthy in its corniness. I also have an ongoing tug-of-war with sharing stuff about my kids online in general. I once shared an accomplishment of one my kids, and after sharing it, the kid totally lost interest in it. I’m not superstitious at all, but it spooked me.
I’d love to hear your reflections on the above, or, if you’re a writer or blogger, copy and paste to create your own responses!
I think there is something really cool and authentic about you blogging for this audience and this space as the first writing priority. I think there is a big change in the blogging scene in the past few years of trying to get everything published elsewhere. I am part of that change, too, and for me a big piece of that is wanting to get paid and to reach some other audiences. But your voice is so good and so defined in THIS space that I really do not think it's necessary to branch out too much. That you're assembling an ebook at this point is the perfect proof.
Ruchi – you might like to read some of Anne Lamott's books and essays. I just listened to one on CD while driving back from Elmira. She is wonderful. Very faith based, Christian at that, and she is a marvelous observer of life / life experiences (good and bad). I especially like that she calls her inner thighs "the aunties" and often asks them what they might want for lunch. Makes me laugh out loud and sometimes weep. I have read the others as well, I think, but she sticks with me the very most. I like her fiction too, but her essays are home runs.
You know, now that you mention it, I have come across Anne Lamott's essays, and they ARE excellent. Thanks for reminding me!
Just re #7, brilliant and possibly underappreciated : Miriam's Kitchen by Elizabeth Ehrlich for very serious and deep reflection on being a Jew in America and on being a Parent, what values do we hold on to, what do we let go, what do we pass on and how does that all work. Also To Love What Is by Alix Kates Shulman. Some immodesty. Beautifully written, expresses strongly and deeply held beliefs about the value of Life & Love (married love. not about parents and kids)
I have not read the second book, but I did read Miriam's Kitchen. It was very moving, and fascinating for me, as the Orthodox grandchild of Holocaust survivors, teaching Judaism to people who largely didn't grow up with the same traditions I did.
I'm so glad you liked it! I have even used some of the recipes =)
I grew up with Orthodox parents and grandparents (who came to America before the Holocaust and left behind large families who were almost entirely wiped out) and was less Americanized than the author, so I was surprised at how much I identified with some of her questions, and answers, and also with some of the stories about ways her parents and grandparents did things (the Wrapping of Boxes, the way colds were treated, the kind of not uniquely Jewish things that took on a kind of religious aspect of their own).
Her reflections on what we owe to our past (ancestors) and what we dream of for our personal and communal future are among the most profound I have ever read. Her understanding that an unintended consequence of embracing Jewish identity may be that her kids will choose Israel over America is something I have seen play out in many families. I wonder where her kids are today.
How did I miss this post? I'm adding all those books to my to-read list.