And I don’t mean Oprah.
Let me get this elephant introduced right at the beginning. The word “Orthodox” and I are not friends. Nevertheless, he exists, and I suppose it would be rude for me not to introduce him. I don’t like him, but everyone seems to know him, so to ignore or rename him would be somewhat pointless, although I certainly try.
See, “Orthodox” did not choose his own name. It was one of those nicknames that sort of arose as a differentiation. Yuk! A name chosen by way of contrast?? Would you do that to your kids? Start calling one shorty because another was taller??
Once upon a time, all Jews followed their special book: the Torah. They weren’t all perfect, nor did they all believe in G-d, nor did they all live happily ever after.
Over time, many movements came and went. Some lasted; others didn’t. When movements began that altered some traditions and rituals, a name was chosen for those that did not change. That term was “Orthodox.” And it stuck, though its mommy and daddy never chose the name.
The sad part is, I need to use this name sometimes because it’s the one everyone seems to know. I find labels in Judaism annoying and divisive at best. To G-d, we’re all Jews. He judges us based on an incredibly complicated series of variables. Do you think there are three (4? 5?) archways in Heaven, divided out by denomination, like going through customs at the airport?? Oh my no.
When people call me Orthodox, it annoys me. Especially when they say, “In the Orthodox religion, are you allowed to….” I understand, yes, I get it, but this is not a new religion, hon. We all are one people. Our behaviors and beliefs may differ, and we may find each others’ ideologies wrong at times, but that’s been constant since time immemorial.
Why highlight our differences with labels?
Don’t worry if you use The Word though. I’ve used it, in entitling this blog. I need to, now.
But I don’t hafta like it.
so we have always hated the term "ultra-orthodox" and have renamed ourselves "really frikkin orthodox" or RFO. what can we come up with instaed of orthodox, i wonder?
How do y'all like the term "observant"? Or "shomer Shabbos" (sabbath-observant)? Better? Worse? Still a label and therefore yukky? Are labels necessary? A necessary evil?
I always tell people I meet that I think all Jews should go under one category -"Under-construction"!
Everyone has a different starting point, and everyone should be trying to grow and perfect…
Rav Gifter zt"l said at a speech that I attended years ago: I am not an Orthodox Jew, I am a Torah Jew.
All I have to say is Oh My Hashem!!!!!!!!! This is such exciting conversation. (Okay, did I totally screw that up? Is that taking the lord's name in vein? I'm new to this . . . please forgive me.)
Yeah, I also like Torah-observant better than Orthodox. Traditionally observant (though I guess that could get confused with "traditional").
I also like the "under construction" idea by anonymous. So true!
I call myself 'more observant than I used to be.' It's true
Ok, so if I keep telling you that you rock, does it lose its meaning? Because you rock. This blog rocks! And I couldn't agree more with Wendy – this is such an exciting conversation!
I never say Orthodox or Baalas Teshuva, because everyone has their own unique preconceived ideas of what these labels mean. And what *is* the difference between Orthodox, Ultra-orthodox (which sounds like waaay-too-orthodox) and Chareidi? I bet if we asked people to define it we'd come up with a lot more than 3 definitions. Which one am I? So I just say I'm an observant Jew. How's that?
I'm with Wendy and Robin – great to be talking about. I totally believe we should be focusing on the things that unite us, not the things that divide us. But there is a very human need for labels. Wendy blogged about this recently in terms of food labels: vegan, vegetarian, etc. Ideally, we can use labels in a value-neutral way and then come together with our commonalities!
I have started using "observant" and I am happy to hear that it does not carry the same connotation as the "o" word. I still am not sure what to say when people ask what I am, when I know they mean orthodox, conservative, reform, etc. I like what schwevy said- more observant than I used to be. I read an article that someone from my area wrote where she called people like me "reformadox." I don't like that at all. It's not that I pick and choose which observances I want to do per se. I recognize that I am hoping one day to perform them all, but because I am a human being with frailties, past choices, and previous misconceptions, I need to move slowly on that path– but my not doing them doesn't mean they shouldn't be done. Does that make sense??? Oy.
Wendy, you crack me up. That is the opposite of taking God's name in vain – you are taking it with purpose!! Robin – too kind. Sindy – point well taken. We say we don't like labels yet we tend to replace them with newer, more pc labels. Then, down the line, those labels start too feel "old" and it's time to replace 🙂 What I do like about observant is that it feels like it describes me. I also like it 'cuz I chose it. This is a lesson for me. Call people what THEY want to be called (people with special needs, religious affiliations, or belonging to a particular race). I heard that on last year's census, they included a category for "Negroes" since the elderly black population prefers it. As the Talmud says, "What a person wishes, that is how he is honored." When in doubt, ask! I love all the great input here. Ilene, Schwevy, and Anon: How's Jews on a journey? (Not as a label, just as a description.) Rivky, Rivki, Rina, and Tova – thanks for your thoughts too!
Can I just say this is just what I hoped would happen?? Jews of all stripes having a respectful and honest conversation. Yay!
Oh, wow. Ruchi, can I just say that I'm so glad I got around to reading this stuff before someone closed the tab? I am constantly struggling with this issue. People are always asking me, "What are you?" Especially when they learn that I'm NOT Chabad. In Florida, people are often not sure what category to put you in if you're not Chabad, Reform, or Conservative. Lol! I usually cave after a run-around and just use the O-word. But not after I get the message out that I'm "just" Jewish and I'm striving to be the best Jew I can be – on this (hopefully long) journey called life.
I've found that people understand terms differently and will sometimes take offense where none is meant. So, in the past, I've experimented with Torah Jew, observant, religious, shomer Shabbat, etc. and have managed to step on plenty of toes in the process. In the end, it comes down to having a conversation about labels and trying to get the message across that I love you because you're a fellow Jew even if we're as different as they come in term of observance/beliefs/etc.. But it definitely gives me lots of anxiety until we get to that place of peace.
I agree Ruchi rocks! I for one, am very offended by being labeled. For Heaven's sake, we are all jews! We have enough enemies! Just call me Giti…
Coming a little late to this party, but I'm a new reader and just want to chime in. I consider myself Torah Observant, not Orthodox. I have never been orthodox about anything. On Facebook I call myself Tribally Observant, because I keep the mitzvot just as much for the community I have chosen to live in as I do for my Higher Power and for myself.