Uncategorized June 2, 2014

Amelia Bedelia and the Oral Tradition: Guest Blogger Rabbi Zee

Rabbi Zee (aka Zauderer) is a fast-talking New Yorker.  Except he lives in Toronto and has some really interesting things to say – if you can follow the pace.  He joined us in Cleveland for a Shabbaton weekend last year and I’ve been getting his weekly emails ever since.  He and his wife Ahuva and their eight children live in the Bathurst/Lawrence area, where their home is always open to anyone who wants to experience a Shabbos or a Torah class. Rabbi Zee (as he is known to his students) brings to his classes a special combination of Torah knowledge, teaching experience, and interpersonal skills.  In honor of the forthcoming holiday commemorating the giving of the Torah, Shavuot, here’s a classic piece of his on the Oral Tradition (the mishna/Talmud).  Rabbi Zee will be available to field comments and questions here.  Email him to be added to his weekly list – it’s great stuff.



“Now let’s see what this list says,” Amelia Bedelia read. “CHANGE THE TOWELS IN THE GREEN BATHROOM.”  Amelia Bedelia found the green bathroom.

“Those towels are very nice. Why change them?” she thought.

Then Amelia Bedelia remembered what Mrs. Rogers had said. She must do just what the list had told her.

“Well, all right,” said Amelia Bedelia. 

She snipped a little here and a little there.  And she changed those towels.

“Now what?  PUT THE LIGHTS OUT WHEN YOU FINISH IN THE LIVING ROOM.”   Amelia Bedelia thought about this a minute.

She switched off the lights. Then she carefully unscrewed each bulb. And Amelia Bedelia put the lights out.

“So those things need to be aired out, too. Just like pillows and babies.  Oh, I do have a lot to learn.”      
*********************************************
It is a foundation of our faith to believe that G-d gave Moses and the Jewish people an oral explanation of the Torah along with the written text. This oral tradition is now essentially preserved in the Talmud and Midrash.                
However, there are many Jews today who are skeptical when it comes to accepting a so-called “oral tradition,” claiming that the Talmud and all the interpretations of the literal text of the Torah were the product of later Rabbinic scholars who might have had hidden agendas and fanciful imaginations.                

Some of us might be willing to accept the notion of G-d revealing Himself to the Jewish people and giving us His Torah – the Written Torah, that is – but anything other than the Five Books of Moses is circumspect.                
If we study Jewish history, we will find that this is an old claim that was made well over 2000 years ago by a breakaway sect of Jews known as the Saduccees. While they accepted the authority of the Written Torah, they rejected the oral traditions and interpretations of the Sages, and they preached a literal reading of the text of the Torah…. which led to some interesting and strange practices. I guess one could say that the Saduccees were the “Amelia Bedelias” of the ancient world.                 
I will give you some examples of what can happen when we take every word of the Written Torah literally, without relying on a much-needed Oral Tradition.                
G-d commands the Jewish people in Numbers (15:38): “They shall make for themselves tzitzis (fringes) on the corners of their garments ….. It shall constitute tzitzis for you, that you may see it …..”  The Torah never writes explicitly that we should wear the fringed garment. If anything, the Torah says that we should see the tzitzis, implying that we should hang the fringed garment (today called the prayer shawl) on our wall in a noticeable place.
     
And that’s exactly what the Saduccees did! They hung their tzitzis on the wall, but would never wear them.                
How about the Sabbath? It is one of the Ten Commandments. Yet in the entire Written Torah, virtually no details are given as to how it should be kept! So how are we to know what to do? Should we keep the Sabbath by lighting candles… or maybe a trip to the park with the kids was what G-d had in mind? Or maybe it should be left up to each individual to celebrate the Sabbath in his/her own way?                
The details can be found in the Oral Torah, of course. As G-d said, “You shall keep the Sabbath holy, as I have commanded your fathers” (Jeremiah 17:22) – obviously referring to an oral tradition. But I bet that Amelia Bedelia and her predecessors the Saduccees sure would have been confused!      
ON THE MORROW OF WHICH DAY?
Let me give you one more example, which has relevance to the upcoming holiday of Shavuos (The Festival of Weeks).
In the Written Torah, G-d commands the Jewish people to celebrate the holiday of Shavuos. But He doesn’t tell them directly which day they should celebrate.  Rather, the Torah states in Leviticus (23:15) “You shall count for yourselves – from the morrow of the rest day seven weeks…”  The Torah writes further that at the end of those seven weeks of counting you shall celebrate the Festival of Weeks.
Now, if we are to believe that only the Written Torah was Divinely given, but not the Oral Tradition, then we are forced to conclude that G-d was playing some kind of cruel joke on His Chosen People!
I mean, come on, can’t you help us out here a little, G-d? On the morrow of the “rest day” we should count seven weeks and then celebrate Shavuos? Which one of the 52 “rest days” of the year are you referring to, G-d? Are we going to play Twenty Questions here, or what?                    
As a matter of fact, the Saduccees, for lack of a better option, decided to count the seven weeks from the day after the first Saturday after Passover, which means that Shavuos would always come out on a Sunday!                  
Of course, the Oral Torah helps us out here as always, and tells us exactly what G-d had in mind with that very vague and ambiguous reference.                
Now, when Amelia Bedelia makes such mistakes and follows everything Mrs. Rogers tells her to do – literally – it makes for an interesting and comical children’s book, at which we can’t help but chuckle. But it’s not so funny when the stakes are higher – when the very foundation of our faith and of our lives – our beloved Torah – is taken so literally as to become vague and confusing, and, G-d forbid, almost comical.

THE OBVIOUS QUESTION                

Okay, so let’s assume that G-d gave us two Torahs – a Written Torah and an Oral Tradition along with it to clarify things – but we still have to ask ourselves why would G-d do such a thing? Why couldn’t He just write everything clearly in the Written Torah?  This way He could have avoided all the problems and divisions among our people, whereby some of us accept both Torahs, and some reject the Oral Torah, because it seems to have originated with a bunch of Rabbis, instead of being Divinely given and inspired!               
I once posed this question to a man from West Orange, New Jersey, with whom I had been studying on a weekly basis. His ten-year-old son had joined us that evening, and the young boy came up with an answer that is, in my opinion, quite profound, and also has a connection to the very first words in this week’s Torah portion.               
In Leviticus (26:3), the Torah states: “If you will follow My decrees and observe My commandments and perform them; then I will provide your rains in their time.”
The verse seems to be repetitious. What is the difference between “following my decrees” and “observing my commandments”? Rashi, the great Bible commentator, explains, based on the Oral Tradition, that “following My decrees” – which is read in Hebrew bechukosai tay-laychu – means that we should toil in Torah study, whereas the next words in the verse refer to the performance of the actual commandments.
It is difficult to understand where the Oral Tradition got the idea of “toiling in Torah” from the Torah’s words bechukosai tay-laychu, which simply mean “to follow My decrees.”
            
Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi, the first Lubavitcher Rebbe, once explained this strange oral tradition as follows:               
There are two methods of writing – one with ink and paper and the other by engraving on stone. The difference between the two is that when one writes with ink, the words do not become one with the paper, making it possible for the message on the paper to be erased over time. When a message is engraved into stone, however, the words and the stone are one unit, so that the message remains in the stone permanently.
                
The Hebrew word bechukosai, or decrees, comes from the root word chakikah, which means engraving. G-d is teaching us that if we want the words and the message of the Torah to leave an indelible and permanent impression upon us, we must study them intensely and toil in them, so that we become one with the Torah that we study and it becomes engraved on our hearts.
               
And that’s exactly what the little boy answered to my question. He said that if the entire Torah had been written out for us, without our having to put any effort in trying to explain it and get to the deeper meaning behind the literal text, it wouldn’t become a part of us and would leave no permanent impact.
This is one of many reasons why the Oral Tradition is so very important and central in Judaism.
Interviews, Uncategorized May 26, 2014

Interview with My Housekeeper, Karla

Most Orthodox families that I know have at least some cleaning help – often on Friday, to help prepare the house for Shabbat.  I’ve always wondered what these women – and sometimes men – think of us, and what opinions they form living among us and experiencing our lives along with us in real time.

Controversial Observations, Uncategorized May 12, 2014

Blog Roundup: Tanta Golda, the son of a Nazi, Social Orthodoxy, and more

Hey OOTOB fans,

This is the first in a series that I’ll feature occasionally, where I bring you different things I’ve discovered around the web that I’ve found interesting lately.  Call it “trending,” or whatever you want – I’ve found it interesting and I’ve decided to bring it to you.  Feel free to send me things that piqued your curiosity or sparked conversation for possible inclusion here in future posts.

ASK TANTA GOLDA

Firstly, I discovered a whole new blog that, honestly, I’m surprised I’ve never encountered before.  It’s called “Ask Tanta Golda” and the concept is somewhat similar to OOTOB.  The blogger, Geri Copitch, adopts the Tanta persona, which I find cute, although I certainly do not agree with all her responses.  It’s unclear to me what her affiliation is, and it seems she prefers it that way.  Check it out and share your impressions.

VIDEO: SON OF A NAZI

This video was sent to me by my friend’s mom and it sat in my inbox for like a month (I have precious little time for videos – I read faster than I can watch – plus it was a whopping 24 minutes long) before I watched it.  But, man, was I glad I did.  It was an immediate share on Facebook, and got a strongly positive reaction there including several shares.  You can’t find it by searching YouTube because it’s privacy-protected.  I won’t give it away – it’s a first-person account of the son of a Nazi and how he chooses to deal with his painful family history.  Seriously, pull up a chair and give this 24 minutes of eyeball time. You will not regret it.

SOCIAL ORTHODOXY

This piece has been getting a lot of attention in the Orthodox world.  A few friends sent it my way and I found it both troubling and insightful.  Here’s a response from Rabbi Maryles, a Modern Orthodox scholar, and here’s one from Rabbi Shafran, a “haredi” scholar.

MOTHER’S DAY AND RWANDA

To close, I have a Mother’s Day question for you.  One of my friends posted this on Facebook:

“Today I’d like to wish everyone a Happy Mothering Day. You do not have to have your own children to make a difference in a child’s life. You also don’t have to be female. Thank you for being in our children’s lives and loving on them – you are our village!”  

I love this friend, but this status doesn’t sit well with me at all.  Mother’s Day is actually for… mothers.  Why dilute this by universalizing it to include anyone that has anything to do with kids?  It reminds me of several years ago, when the Holocaust Museum featured a refugee from Rwanda to speak at their annual benefit.  While her story was incredibly stirring, I was in shock that the Holocaust message was being universalized, essentially losing an opportunity to hear from a Holocaust survivor.  Now, maybe I’m getting a little too worked up over Mother’s Day, which is probably just a Hallmark holiday, but I think that’s why it bothers me so much.  It’s the underlying trend to universalize everything Jewish to include everyone and anyone, thus reducing anything specific we’ve experienced to nothing more than a humanitarian mish-mash.  

Thoughts?

Controversial Observations, Uncategorized May 7, 2014

I Love My House

No one will complain when you get a bonus post in the middle of the week, right?

It’s been nearly five years since we’ve moved into our new home, and guess what?  The pretty paint job is marred with spots and dents, the tile is cracking in various places, and the white pristine molding looks… neither white nor pristine.

When we remodeled this home, I felt incredibly conflicted.  Because I really, really liked my new house.  In fact… I loved it.  But you’re not supposed to love a house.  You’re supposed to love people, experiences, God.  So I worked on myself to channel that love positively.  I will use my house for Torah!  Host guests.  Open it up for other people’s guests.  Have Shabbos and holidays here.  Have Torah classes here.  Fill it with love for my family, warm memories, and delicious meals (that I will cook quickly).  Then it will be perfectly legitimate to love my house, because it’s a house that is altruistic and not selfish.

I also asked myself two questions:

1. If the Messiah were to come tomorrow, and you had to leave this home and move to Israel, would you be sad or happy?

2. When the house shows its age, or the kids ruin it, as kids inevitably do so well, will you be resentful?

I gotta say, the first one was pretty easy.  I would do it in a heartbeat.  The second one was hard.  And every day that my kids or guests have spilled grape juice on the carpet, thrown a cordless phone at the wall (fer instance), broken the lock on the back door (true story), or otherwise systematically and ruthlessly destroyed my beautiful home, with each of these moments I’ve tried to hard to remember “we love people more than homes.”

Julia Blum, a singer and songwriter originally from Beverly Hills, California, describes her very first Shabbos in Jerusalem as a guest in someone’s tiny apartment.  The daughter was carrying in chicken on a beautiful platter, seemingly the only expensive item in the whole home.  As she did, she slipped, and the tray fell to the ground and shattered.  The parents’ eyes met over the table, and simultaneously, both shouted “Mazel tov!”

In Julia’s words, “It was the first time I had encountered the attitude that so instinctively, people were more important than things.”  She describes, hilariously, walking into a home in her native Beverly Hills where you were met by a butler, your coat could only be hung in certain places, and some rooms were off-limits to guests.

So now it’s the moment of truth.  The house is no longer new and fresh.  Its age and flaws are showing. And yet, when I think back, I recall five years of great memories, great Shabbos meals, great events, great conversations.  I love my house.  And this time, for all the right reasons.

Uncategorized May 4, 2014

How to Cook Shabbat Dinner in One Hour

Inspired by the popularity of my post on How to Clean for Passover in One Day, I decided to tell y’all how I cook for Shabbos in an hour.  Because I’m all about saving time and getting out of the kitchen.  A friend of mine recently told me I am doing the Jewish world a service by standing up there and admitting that I don’t like to cook, so of course I’m all about doing a mitzvah, benefiting others, yada yada.

So hear this now: I’m Jewish, I’m religious, I’m the mother of a large family, my husband is even a rabbi, and I DON’T LIKE TO COOK.  I’d much rather go for a walk with someone I love, or even like; read something really interesting; socialize with friends; or play a game with my kids.  For those of you that love the patchke, you may click right away from the page with no hard feelings at all.

And yet I cook Shabbos food pretty much every week and love to host guests.  Here’s how I do it:

THE MENU:

Homemade challah
Partially homemade gefilte fish
Homemade matza ball soup
Roast chicken
Salads
Rice
Grilled vegetables
Pareve ice cream dessert

THE TRICKS:

There’s a secret.  You have to prepare the challah dough in advance.  And you have to do shopping in advance.  And not everything will be homemade.

SHOPPING LIST:

(I’ve only included the things you’re unlikely to have on hand.)

  1. yeast
  2. loaf of frozen gefilte fish (I don’t find the brand matters much; I shop the cheapest brand)
  3. chicken, for the soup and for the main
  4. any bottled salad dressing or sauce
  5. veggies for the salads and roasted veg dish
  6. matza ball soup mix
  7. pareve ice cream or sorbet for dessert
  8. net bag for your chicken soup

PREPARING THE CHALLAH DOUGH IN ADVANCE:

Throw the following into a bowl:

  • 1.5 Tbsp yeast
  • 2 c. warm water
  • 1 c. sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/2 c oil
  • 1 Tbsp salt
  • 7-8 cups flour
Mix well and allow to rise by covering with saran.  Leave overnight in fridge, or on counter for a few hours.
Estimated time: 10-15 minutes.
THE REST OF THE MENU:
  1. Start by mixing up your matza ball mix according to package directions and put in fridge to firm up.  Estimated time: 5 minutes.
  2. Next, peel all the veggies for your roasted veggies and for the soups (I like onion, carrots, sweet potato, celery, and squash in my soup).  Throw your veggies for the soup in a large pot along with the chicken.  I put the chicken in the bag for easy removal.  Fill pot with water to the top, season with salt, pepper, dill, and whatever else you like.  Put it up to boil.  Estimated time: 10 minutes.
  3. Next, clean your chickens and arrange in a nice dish.  Pour some bottled dressing or sauce (any will work) and put in oven for two hours uncovered at 350.  Estimated time: 10 minutes.
  4. Now, take your gefilte fish, unwrap it from both the plastic and wax paper, and transfer to a loaf pan partially frozen.  Spray or brush the top with olive oil and sprinkle with lemon pepper or any seasonings.  Put it in the oven for two hours.  Estimated time: 5 minutes.
  5. Next, arrange your roast veggies in a pan.  I drizzle with two tablespoons olive oil, basil, rosemary, kosher salt, and freshly ground pepper.  Put in oven for two hours.  Estimated time: 5-10 minutes.
  6. Now prepare your salads.  I can’t put a time on this; it all depends how you like your salads.  I sometimes do the salads just before dinner anyway, so I’m going to leave it out of the equation.
  7. Now deal with your challah.  I have instructions for that here.  Not counting rising time, this should take 10 minutes, depending on how fancy you get with your braids and how new you are at it.  Estimated time: 10 minutes.
  8. Take your matza ball mix out of the fridge and form into balls.  Fill a pot with water and bring to a boil.  Drop in matza balls and allow to cook.  Estimated prep time: 5 minutes.
  9. The rice is super-fast because I have a rice cooker.  I throw the rice in there with water, a little oil, some soy sauce and frozen veggies, and just turn the thing on.  But before I had a rice cooker, I did it in a pan in the oven and it was almost as easy.  Estimated time: 5 minutes.
As you’ve realized, dessert is store bought, so that’s easy.  Also, a comment on doubling recipes to freeze.  I rarely do this.  I know everyone swears it’s a time-saver, but it’s also a time-saver to braid fewer challahs, roll fewer matza balls, and clean fewer chickens.  This is a different strokes for different folks kind of decision. 
And there you have it… Shabbos dinner, in an hour or less.
Uncategorized April 27, 2014

Staying In for Yizkor

Yizkor is one of the strangest events that happens in a synagogue.  Most of the members leave the sanctuary, and only some stay to say a special prayer that only applies to them.  The reason for this is that if someone has both of their parents alive, and is thus not obligated to say Yizkor, it would be an “ayin hara” to stay in and have all the bereft congregants feel envious.

Yizkor is said four times a year: on Yom Kippur, the last day of Sukkot, the last day of Passover, and the second day of Shavuot.  There’s also a custom to light a yahrtzeit candle for our loved one the night before Yizkor is said, and to say “L’EEloy nishmat [Hebrew name ben/bat father’s Hebrew name]” which means, “may this be an elevation of the soul of [insert name of loved one]”.  A candle is compared to a soul in a number of places in Jewish literature and lighting a candle is a Jewish way to memorialize a loved one.


I’m in the Yizkor Club – the club no one wants to be in.  I’ve been saying Yizkor since I am 7 years old, aware of the pity for being so young.  Even now at 39, it’s somewhat depressing that a person my age has to say Yizkor, even though it’s actually one of my favorite things to say.  I’ve always connected very strongly to what Judaism teaches us about the afterlife, and in Yizkor, it’s so poignantly and openly discussed – essentially, permission to dwell on death.  
It’s kind of like the elephant in the room.  Talking about the loved ones that we miss, especially decades later, is something that’s not socially appropriate most of the time, and those of us who have lost a loved one treasure the opportunity to talk about them, cry for them, and mourn a mini-mourning.  More, Yizkor is my chance to offer help to my deceased father by asking God to remember him in the next world.  This is incredibly empowering in a situation which mostly leaves one feeling helpless.
It always suprises me how short Yizkor is.
God, please remember the soul of my father, my teacher, Moshe ben Aryeh Leibush, who has gone on to his world.  Because of this, I will commit to giving tzedakah in his merit.  May his soul be bound up in the bonds of life, with the sould of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah and with the other righteous men and women who are in the Garden of Eden; and let us say Amen.
That’s it.  But the old ladies in shul always hung around for longer, leaving me wondering what on earth they were doing for so long.  So since I didn’t want to leave conspicuously early, I just used those moments to meditate on my loss, and my hopes for the future.
It was in those moments, I discovered the Kel Malei Rachamim prayer that delves even more beautifully into what is going on with the souls of our loved ones in the next world.
God who is full of mercy, who dwells on high, please find a good peacefulness, on the wings of the Shechinah (Divine Spirit of femininity), in the lofty heights of the holy and pure, who shine like the brilliant brightness of heaven, to the soul of Moshe ben Aryeh Leibush, who has gone to his eternal rest.  Because of this I commit to giving tzedakah on behalf of his soul.  May his resting place be in the Garden of Eden.  Therefore, may the Master of mercy care for him under the protection of His wings forever, and bind his soul in the bond of everlasting life.  God is his inheritance and may he rest in peace, Amen.
These last few lines are so incredibly moving and comforting for me.  They remind me anew each time that death is not an end, that what we see is not all there is, that I matter in continuing the legacy of my father, that Jewish continuity effected by me and my siblings matter to him, and that I am not at all helpless in the face of loss and tragedy.
Yizkor.
May God remember, and may we remember.
What has your experience been with saying Yizkor?