Most Orthodox families that I know have at least some cleaning help – often on Friday, to help prepare the house for Shabbat. I’ve always wondered what these women – and sometimes men – think of us, and what opinions they form living among us and experiencing our lives along with us in real time.
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| Photo courtesy of Kveller. |
This piece is pretty personal but I’ve chosen to share it for two reasons: one, to demonstrate that taking care of your body and taking care of your soul aren’t mutually exclusive. Two, perhaps it will inspire someone else to make a fresh start and confront something in his or her life that really needs confronting.
So hop on over to Kveller and check it out.
Blog Roundup: Tanta Golda, the son of a Nazi, Social Orthodoxy, and more
Hey OOTOB fans,
This is the first in a series that I’ll feature occasionally, where I bring you different things I’ve discovered around the web that I’ve found interesting lately. Call it “trending,” or whatever you want – I’ve found it interesting and I’ve decided to bring it to you. Feel free to send me things that piqued your curiosity or sparked conversation for possible inclusion here in future posts.
Firstly, I discovered a whole new blog that, honestly, I’m surprised I’ve never encountered before. It’s called “Ask Tanta Golda” and the concept is somewhat similar to OOTOB. The blogger, Geri Copitch, adopts the Tanta persona, which I find cute, although I certainly do not agree with all her responses. It’s unclear to me what her affiliation is, and it seems she prefers it that way. Check it out and share your impressions.
This video was sent to me by my friend’s mom and it sat in my inbox for like a month (I have precious little time for videos – I read faster than I can watch – plus it was a whopping 24 minutes long) before I watched it. But, man, was I glad I did. It was an immediate share on Facebook, and got a strongly positive reaction there including several shares. You can’t find it by searching YouTube because it’s privacy-protected. I won’t give it away – it’s a first-person account of the son of a Nazi and how he chooses to deal with his painful family history. Seriously, pull up a chair and give this 24 minutes of eyeball time. You will not regret it.
This piece has been getting a lot of attention in the Orthodox world. A few friends sent it my way and I found it both troubling and insightful. Here’s a response from Rabbi Maryles, a Modern Orthodox scholar, and here’s one from Rabbi Shafran, a “haredi” scholar.
MOTHER’S DAY AND RWANDA
To close, I have a Mother’s Day question for you. One of my friends posted this on Facebook:
“Today I’d like to wish everyone a Happy Mothering Day. You do not have to have your own children to make a difference in a child’s life. You also don’t have to be female. Thank you for being in our children’s lives and loving on them – you are our village!”
I love this friend, but this status doesn’t sit well with me at all. Mother’s Day is actually for… mothers. Why dilute this by universalizing it to include anyone that has anything to do with kids? It reminds me of several years ago, when the Holocaust Museum featured a refugee from Rwanda to speak at their annual benefit. While her story was incredibly stirring, I was in shock that the Holocaust message was being universalized, essentially losing an opportunity to hear from a Holocaust survivor. Now, maybe I’m getting a little too worked up over Mother’s Day, which is probably just a Hallmark holiday, but I think that’s why it bothers me so much. It’s the underlying trend to universalize everything Jewish to include everyone and anyone, thus reducing anything specific we’ve experienced to nothing more than a humanitarian mish-mash.
Thoughts?
No one will complain when you get a bonus post in the middle of the week, right?
It’s been nearly five years since we’ve moved into our new home, and guess what? The pretty paint job is marred with spots and dents, the tile is cracking in various places, and the white pristine molding looks… neither white nor pristine.
When we remodeled this home, I felt incredibly conflicted. Because I really, really liked my new house. In fact… I loved it. But you’re not supposed to love a house. You’re supposed to love people, experiences, God. So I worked on myself to channel that love positively. I will use my house for Torah! Host guests. Open it up for other people’s guests. Have Shabbos and holidays here. Have Torah classes here. Fill it with love for my family, warm memories, and delicious meals (that I will cook quickly). Then it will be perfectly legitimate to love my house, because it’s a house that is altruistic and not selfish.
I also asked myself two questions:
1. If the Messiah were to come tomorrow, and you had to leave this home and move to Israel, would you be sad or happy?
2. When the house shows its age, or the kids ruin it, as kids inevitably do so well, will you be resentful?
I gotta say, the first one was pretty easy. I would do it in a heartbeat. The second one was hard. And every day that my kids or guests have spilled grape juice on the carpet, thrown a cordless phone at the wall (fer instance), broken the lock on the back door (true story), or otherwise systematically and ruthlessly destroyed my beautiful home, with each of these moments I’ve tried to hard to remember “we love people more than homes.”
Julia Blum, a singer and songwriter originally from Beverly Hills, California, describes her very first Shabbos in Jerusalem as a guest in someone’s tiny apartment. The daughter was carrying in chicken on a beautiful platter, seemingly the only expensive item in the whole home. As she did, she slipped, and the tray fell to the ground and shattered. The parents’ eyes met over the table, and simultaneously, both shouted “Mazel tov!”
In Julia’s words, “It was the first time I had encountered the attitude that so instinctively, people were more important than things.” She describes, hilariously, walking into a home in her native Beverly Hills where you were met by a butler, your coat could only be hung in certain places, and some rooms were off-limits to guests.
So now it’s the moment of truth. The house is no longer new and fresh. Its age and flaws are showing. And yet, when I think back, I recall five years of great memories, great Shabbos meals, great events, great conversations. I love my house. And this time, for all the right reasons.
Inspired by the popularity of my post on How to Clean for Passover in One Day, I decided to tell y’all how I cook for Shabbos in an hour. Because I’m all about saving time and getting out of the kitchen. A friend of mine recently told me I am doing the Jewish world a service by standing up there and admitting that I don’t like to cook, so of course I’m all about doing a mitzvah, benefiting others, yada yada.
So hear this now: I’m Jewish, I’m religious, I’m the mother of a large family, my husband is even a rabbi, and I DON’T LIKE TO COOK. I’d much rather go for a walk with someone I love, or even like; read something really interesting; socialize with friends; or play a game with my kids. For those of you that love the patchke, you may click right away from the page with no hard feelings at all.
And yet I cook Shabbos food pretty much every week and love to host guests. Here’s how I do it:
THE MENU:
Homemade challah
Partially homemade gefilte fish
Homemade matza ball soup
Roast chicken
Salads
Rice
Grilled vegetables
Pareve ice cream dessert
THE TRICKS:
There’s a secret. You have to prepare the challah dough in advance. And you have to do shopping in advance. And not everything will be homemade.
SHOPPING LIST:
(I’ve only included the things you’re unlikely to have on hand.)
- yeast
- loaf of frozen gefilte fish (I don’t find the brand matters much; I shop the cheapest brand)
- chicken, for the soup and for the main
- any bottled salad dressing or sauce
- veggies for the salads and roasted veg dish
- matza ball soup mix
- pareve ice cream or sorbet for dessert
- net bag for your chicken soup
PREPARING THE CHALLAH DOUGH IN ADVANCE:
Throw the following into a bowl:
- 1.5 Tbsp yeast
- 2 c. warm water
- 1 c. sugar
- 2 eggs
- 1/2 c oil
- 1 Tbsp salt
- 7-8 cups flour
- Start by mixing up your matza ball mix according to package directions and put in fridge to firm up. Estimated time: 5 minutes.
- Next, peel all the veggies for your roasted veggies and for the soups (I like onion, carrots, sweet potato, celery, and squash in my soup). Throw your veggies for the soup in a large pot along with the chicken. I put the chicken in the bag for easy removal. Fill pot with water to the top, season with salt, pepper, dill, and whatever else you like. Put it up to boil. Estimated time: 10 minutes.
- Next, clean your chickens and arrange in a nice dish. Pour some bottled dressing or sauce (any will work) and put in oven for two hours uncovered at 350. Estimated time: 10 minutes.
- Now, take your gefilte fish, unwrap it from both the plastic and wax paper, and transfer to a loaf pan partially frozen. Spray or brush the top with olive oil and sprinkle with lemon pepper or any seasonings. Put it in the oven for two hours. Estimated time: 5 minutes.
- Next, arrange your roast veggies in a pan. I drizzle with two tablespoons olive oil, basil, rosemary, kosher salt, and freshly ground pepper. Put in oven for two hours. Estimated time: 5-10 minutes.
- Now prepare your salads. I can’t put a time on this; it all depends how you like your salads. I sometimes do the salads just before dinner anyway, so I’m going to leave it out of the equation.
- Now deal with your challah. I have instructions for that here. Not counting rising time, this should take 10 minutes, depending on how fancy you get with your braids and how new you are at it. Estimated time: 10 minutes.
- Take your matza ball mix out of the fridge and form into balls. Fill a pot with water and bring to a boil. Drop in matza balls and allow to cook. Estimated prep time: 5 minutes.
- The rice is super-fast because I have a rice cooker. I throw the rice in there with water, a little oil, some soy sauce and frozen veggies, and just turn the thing on. But before I had a rice cooker, I did it in a pan in the oven and it was almost as easy. Estimated time: 5 minutes.
Yizkor is said four times a year: on Yom Kippur, the last day of Sukkot, the last day of Passover, and the second day of Shavuot. There’s also a custom to light a yahrtzeit candle for our loved one the night before Yizkor is said, and to say “L’EEloy nishmat [Hebrew name ben/bat father’s Hebrew name]” which means, “may this be an elevation of the soul of [insert name of loved one]”. A candle is compared to a soul in a number of places in Jewish literature and lighting a candle is a Jewish way to memorialize a loved one.






