I was supposed to be on break till 2012, but I’ve pulled myself out of retirement to deal with something that’s been, quite literally, keeping me up at night and distracting me from everything I’ve been trying to concentrate on today.
Religious extremism in Bet Shemesh.
Normally, I don’t discuss bad stuff that goes on among Jews, both for lashon hara (gossip) concerns and because it’s just not my way. I’m an “a little bit of light dispels much of the darkness” kind of girl, and I try to go about my life attempting to shine bits of light upon my world, the world of my children, that of my friends and loved ones, my community in real life, and on this blog. And hopefully, in the larger universe as well.
But when the Bet Shemesh insanity hit international news, I knew that I had to address this issue for a positive, constructive purpose.
Allow me to go on record saying that as a Torah-observant Jew, one that some might call ultra-Orthodox (dubbed chareidi, or haredi), I am disgusted, horrified, sickened, traumatized and embarrassed by the behaviors of the thugs in Israel who are not only acting completely contrary to Torah values, but disgracing its name publicly.
—
My little boy is four years old. In preschool, he has a sweet little program called “Social Skills.” He brought home a little pictorial overview of what he learned in Social Skills.
“Two rules, Mommy.” Eyes huge. “Nice face and nice voice.”
How wise we are, at four.
In discussing the issue with my 11-year-old son, he was aghast that anyone could actually believe such actions are Torah-true. “Ma,” he declared, “they’re doing the opposite of you. You’re trying to help people see that Torah is beautiful, and they’re making everyone hate it.”
True, that.
—-
A Facebook friend-of-a-friend made the following pithy observation:
But
here is the catch – let’s not worship the same god as they [the thugs] are. Don’t get
angry with them, have pity and compassion on them. And hope and pray
that these people who are also our brothers and sisters are able to come
back to sanity and balance and Truth before they do any more damage to
themselves or others or before The Universe has to knock them back in to
line by force.Want to practically make a difference? All our
people have one soul. Go work on your own ego issues for one week.
Watch where you hurt others in your life with actions or words from this
unhealthy place. Change yourself, take responsibility for yourself
especially for blaming it on the ubiquitous “them,” as if we are clean
of these very challenges ourselves. And I have no doubt that in the
merit of this and this only, we can turn these people and all of the
Jews and all of the world back to good and G-d, speedily in our days.
Amen.
An ultra-Orthodox rabbi, Rabbi Yaakov Horowitz of Monsey, NY put out a public statement denouncing these awful behaviors, as did the Chassidic Belzer Rebbe and the Agudath Israel of America. This is all good.
A family friend living in Israel emailed the following:
Twelve years ago when we lived here, I learned [studied Torah] with Reb Noach
Weinberg [of Aish Hatorah] in his office. He took me out on his mirpeset [balcony] where, looking
down at the Kotel Plaza, we saw two groups of protestors. A Conservative
group demanding women’s rights at the Kotel. The other, a Chasidishe [Chassidic] group
yelling and fighting. Reb Noach, z”l [of blessed memory], turned to me and asked: What’s your take on
this?
I was giving a pilpul [Talmudic-style dialectic] on the pros and cons of each group’s actions. He
interrupted by saying… “Do you know what I DON’T see? I DON’T see a tear! Not a sigh.
Just fighting for the rights of zealotry.”
—-
Around the corner from me lives a family that looks, on the outside, very similar to the thugs. Fur hats, curly peyos (sidelocks), Chassidic garb. This family takes my breath away with its love for all Jews. All Jews, of all stripes, backgrounds, and degrees of socio-economic success, are literally welcomed into their home with a huge smile and a hug.
Yeah, a bear hug.
This past week I was driving carpool and my neighbor’s son had missed the bus. I took him home, only to find that no one was in at his house. He assured me that he was supposed to go to this Chassidic family down the block if his parents weren’t home, to be “babysitted.”
Upon corroborating this interesting tidbit, I dropped him off at the love-for-all-Jews abode and watched carefully as he entered the home as one would his own: without knocking and without preamble. To say that this family puts my unconditional love for my fellow Jew, and my hospitality, to shame, is an embarrassing understatement. This is a family of role models. This is the ultra-Orthodoxy I am honored and proud to be associated with. It would be seriously incorrect to say that “their home is open to everyone” – it simply belongs to everyone.
Can I say the same about myself?
—-
Where does all this leave me? Insomniatic, distracted, disturbed. I’ve written my letters to the New York Times and Israeli press. I’ve sent a Facebook message to the mother of one of the victims, expressing my solidarity and disgust. I’ve wondered about the perps: who are they really? Who are their mothers, wives, sisters, and children? Do they sleep well at night? I’ve worked through my emotions, trying not to hate the haters. I’ve searched my heart to examine if any traces of the personality defects of the thugs, such as ego and anger, need to be worked on in myself.
I am encouraged by those who recognize not to torch all Chareidim (ultra-Orthodox) by the fire of these thugs. Their moderate responses are incredibly heartwarming. I am warmed by my community here in Cleveland, where so many different types live near one another with respect. I pray that this post be a step towards the solution.
And in my prayers this morning, I had extra passion during the prayer for peace.
Oseh shalom b’mromav, hu yaaseh shalom aleinu, v’al kol Yisrael, v’imru… Amen.
May He who creates peace in the heavenly spheres, create peace upon us, and upon all of Israel… may it, indeed, be so.
Ruchi this is a beautiful post. I share your feelings and am grateful you expressed them as you did! xo
Thank you, Ruchi. While I am also dismayed and disgusted on how much the extremists have been able to get away with, I am heartened by the response that has been occurring as of late. It is indeed time that we stand up and say "This is not what Torah is. This is not how 'ultra-Orthodox' Jews behave. This is not us."
Sometimes things aren't quite as simple as Reb Noach Weinberg says, "Do you know what I DON'T see? I DON’T see a tear! Not a sigh. Just fighting for the rights of zealotry." What is the underlying tear that the women shed or have shed when on Rosh Hodesh they are attacked at the kotel for HOLDING a Torah or reproached for singing too loudly? Those tears are often shed in private and the anger that has been shown them creates the tension and frustration that Reb Noach Weinberg sees in those conservative women. Your son is correct "Nice face, nice voice." Yet how are the women at Bet Shemsh suppose to respond and how are the women at the Kotel suppose to feel?
I share your feelings. For frum people, modern or haredi to be arguing looks so bad on us (leads back to another post you posted on) and although it is about some very big divides between the haredim and modern orthodox as well as secular Jews, the fact that it has come to international attention because of the harassment around the tzniut of a little also frum girl (who having seen video footage from the Beit Shemesh news, dresses in my opinion as modestly as a little girl should) is abhorrent. I have family friends with a little girl at the same school as the girl who has been harassed. I have family who send their girls to high school in Ramat Beit Shemesh. I know of a few families who have moved out of the Beit Shemesh area because of how they were being treated (perceived or otherwise) by the Haredim and these are all frum families with frum children. I certainly agree with you that this is a select group from the haredim and is not representative of all haredim.
Generalizations here will not help the circumstances. I hope that your voice is heard beyond this blog and in the letters you have written to the press.
Thank you, Sindy and Rivki.
Anonymous: of course it's not simple at all. This week's Torah portion actually highlights the worst Jewish intra-family conflict of all time (Joseph and his brothers) – and teaches that all intra-Jewish fighting, past and present, are foreshadowed there. How sadly ironic. I have no easy answers to the craziness in the Land of Israel. Apparently, no one does. I'm not exactly sure what you're asking though. It seems to me that you and Reb Noach are expressing the same thing: if each side feels it is doing a service to God and Torah, why aren't we at least seeing a sigh, a tear, at the breakage of peace that is taking place thereby – which is also a basic tenet of God and Torah? How are the women supposed to feel? Terrible! Victimized! And they do! No matter what it is that a person has done, even if it's blatantly against the Torah (and that would certainly make *me* sad), she does not deserve to be treated by thugs in this sub-humane way.
Hilary: it's true that the publicity is terrible, but the incident itself is even more terrible. I also saw the footage… terrible. Thanks for commenting.
Ruchi I am not Jewish but have incredible respect for Orthodox Jews. It is not easy being "in the world" but not "OF the world". My religion promotes modesty that is thought of as old-fashioned in this age of "anything goes" so I have a high opinion for others who choose to live as they know they should and not how others dictate.
You speaking out and adding your voice to other Orthodox shows that this is a minority but the squeaky wheel gets the grease (or television camera). It only takes a few fanatics to cast a bad light on an entire religion. Unfortunately with the "Jewish burqa mom, Haredi spitting on little girls and men shoving women to the back of the bus the spotlight will turn on because they are sensational stories. The light SHOULD be on these things because they are wrong and light dispels the dark…keeps this type of thing from spreading.
Good for you to stand up and the family around the corner sounds like the very essence of what it means to be not just Jewish but G-dly.
Ruchi, I have been hoping you would post on this incident, especially since you wrote already so eloquently about your grief in such cases.
I am impressed by your willingness–Ruchi, Rivki and others–to condemn in very strong terms those who are at least outwardly part of your community. This is such an important gesture for people like me who only know what "Haredi" means in vague terms and have zero personal contact with Haredi. I don't understand how people could even presume to say such terrible actions are acceptable and even called for in Judaism.
To anonymous: I'm sorry that I was unable to post your comment since it was quite sarcastic. However, you ask an excellent question that deserves an answer. Please feel free to re-post in a respectful manner and I would be happy to address your point as well as I can.
Sbw: thanks, as usual 🙂
Ruchi, as usual, awesome thoughtful answer, love love love!
Me: I truly appreciate your response. You are so right.
You did an excellent job addressing the issue, Ruchi, and an excellent job answering the comments too.
I apologize if it seems sarcastic. below is a excerpt from berachot 22a. The words in parentheses are mine.
Said R. Papa to Abaye: How is it that for the former generations miracles were performed and for us miracles are not performed?… when Rab Judah drew off one shoe, rain used to come, whereas we torment ourselves and cry loudly, and no notice is taken of us?! He (abaye) replied: The former generations used to be ready to sacrifice their lives for the sanctity of [God's] name; (while)we do not sacrifice our lives for the sanctity of [God's] name (MOSER NEFESH FOR KIDDUSH HASHEM).(Here is his example of mesirat nefesh for kiddush hashem) There was the case of R. Adda b. Ahaba who saw a heathen woman wearing a red head-dress in the street (wearing red is a no no), and thinking that she was an Israelite woman, he rose and tore it from her.(because she wasnt dressed modestly!) It turned out that she was a heathen woman, and they fined him four hundred zuz. He said to her: What is your name. She replied: Mathun. Mathun(mathun could be defined a patience), he said to her: that makes four hundred zuz.(meaning that the only thing he did wrong was not investigate whether she was jewish or not, otherwise, what he did is not only correct but a huge kiddush hashem that allows rain to come to the world i.e. it brings blessing to the world: explanation based on rashi)
Hi again Anonymous. Thanks for reposting.
It is unclear to me whether you wish to quote textual support for what the thugs are doing, or if you wish to rebut my claim that Torah does not support zealotry. In other words, are you trying to make violence look good, or are you trying to make Torah look bad?
I will assume the latter.
You're right that this is quite a politically incorrect piece of Torah. You need not seek obscure references though; zealotry exists first in the Torah story of Phineas. His act of zealotry was rewarded by God with the covenant of peace. Counter-intuitive, no?
So the question remains, why was the zealotry of Phineas and Rav Adda considered meritorious, and our current situation is not?
The answer rests on two conditions: the state of the world spiritually, and the vantage point of the zealot. In the times of Phineas and R. Adda, the Jewish community was in a state of very widespread, conscious Torah observance and awareness. They craved and needed and wanted leaders and teachers that would bring them back to a state of pure spirituality.
Secondly, the zealot MUST first be infused and motivated by a total love for his fellow Jew, whom he knows truly wants to be corrected and improved (Sichos Mussar on parshat Pinchas).
Zealotry is a character trait that is very powerful, ought to be administered in small doses if at all, and, like the mitzvah to rebuke one's fellow Jew, is extremely difficult to fulfill properly in our times.
In closing, it is important to reflect in a greater context on who R. Adda actually was:
"In Pumbedita (the yeshiva) R. Adda gathered about him a great many pupils, whom he taught sometimes in the public thoroughfares (Yeb. 110b). He lived to a very old age, and when interrogated on the merits that entitled him to be so favored of heaven, he gave the following sketch of his life and character:
(Yer. Ta'anit, iii. 67a; somewhat different in Babli, ibid. 20b).
"…nor did I disturb my colleagues by walking to my seat at college among them. I never nicknamed my neighbor nor rejoiced at his fall. Anger against my neighbor never went to bed with me, and I never passed the street near where my debtor lived; and while at home I never betrayed impatience, in order to observe what is said (Ps. ci. 2), 'I will walk within my house with a perfect heart'"
Dear Ruchi: I really loved what your FB friend "said" especially on this New Year's Eve. I think I will write it down, put it on my fridge and read it every day before I leave my house." All of this is behavior is extremely upsetting but not really surprising to me. As I look at this recent event, along with past ones, I think we (Jews) are often our own worst enemies. Not only does my heart hurt for victims of extremists, but for the perps too, because they are shaming Israel in the eyes of the world and don't even see it or care–and we have enough of a p.r. problem already.
I am so proud of those who are standing up and publicly defining what Judaism is and what it isn't. This isn't the "who is a Jew" disagreement that prevents us from true dialogue. We can argue about that from now until Elijah lets us know that the Time has come.
This is something completely different. This is about a small group hijacking our name, adulterating our Holy book by claiming that their actions are justified by what it contains, and using the Holy One as an excuse for behaviour that is Chillul HaShem and exposing such ugliness to the entire world.
For me to stand up and speak against it is a given. As a female Reform rabbi, no one will pay much attention. The significant voices are those like you and the others I hear and read and see coming out of the Orthodox corners. Those are the ones who are truly living Torah.
Tess and frumesarah, thank you for those encouraging words. I appreciate you guys!
You did a great job discussing this issue. When I read the news I was very sad that Jews could treat each other this way. But you have taught me well- this is not judaism to me, it's people who have lost their connection to Hashem. Whether you are Jewish or not is not the issue- this is people who have lost their way and distanced themselves from Hashem's love. Very sad. But to say you are a Jew is not enough.. Overcoming our faults, anger, and yetzer hara is one day at a time. Hopefully, these people find their way back to Hashem.
Anonymous two, Nina, and Shani: thanks!
Anon, well put: distance from Hashem is quite right.
I like your interpretation, Ruchi, of when and how it is appropriate to rebuke a fellow Jew (i.e. cautiously, lovingly and it's still mostly not such a good idea). But this respect-oriented understanding of how to manage zealotry requires having the sensitivity to read the Torah in this way, which not everyone has (as you wrote elsewhere on the blog on a related topic, human beings are imperfect).
So I do wonder, what does it mean that the Torah can *seem*, if someone does not have the respect-oriented way of reading it, to advocate some uncautious, unloving behavior? I mean this NOT as a question or doubt about the Torah's goodness, but as a question about Orthodox belief regarding the need for interpretation of the Torah, and especially beliefs about what it means to offer the *proper* interpretation–i.e. the thugs' interpretation is totally wrongheaded, the proper one supports respectful behavior to all human beings.
I am stumped as to how so many people can love the Torah and believe in its absolute truth (which I gather the Beit Shemesh people would say they certainly do), and yet disagree so deeply about what behaviors it prescribes. This is an existential question for me, but I figure a positive-minded Orthodox/ultra-Orthodox person might have a helpful approach to this. I guess I am also curious about how the love for Torah is also mediated by the interpretations of the Torah that are also part of Orthodoxy (Midrash etc.)
[[Ruchi, I recognize that this kind of inquiry might not be what you really want to do in your blog or in this thread, so feel free to postpone, edit or ignore this comment, or also to not post it at all if it feels at all offensive or just to make it easier to move on to another theme if you prefer–and also let me know if you prefer that I contact you privately before launching into big theological questions, or other big questions (of which I have many).]]
Should be working, once again you pose an excellent question.
I think a basic explanation of how Torah is learned is in order. Orthodox Judaism believes in the concept of "mesorah" which means that the tradition of how Torah (both Bible and Talmud) is to be understood has been handed down from parent to child, teacher to student, in an unbroken chain since Sinai. Of course different customs have emerged but basic law remains the same – even among cultures that had no contact for centuries.
I'm no rabbi, so I certainly don't have all the answers, or even most of them, but here's how I understand your dilemma: Torah must be studied with a teacher that has learned it from someone from the previous generation, back all the way till Sinai. As soon as a person starts self-interpreting, with no objective, masoretic (of mesorah) tradition, you are going to have divergence from the original intent.
I fully recognize that the Conservative and Reform movement take issue with this, but I describe here how I was raised and how I learned Torah and how I would answer your question.
So it's not so much about having a "respect-orientation" but about having secured the right teacher (who by definition ought to have that respect – or drop the teacher, quick). That's one of the "5 things I wish all Orthodox Jews knew" that I posted in a previous blog – everyone must keep learning, and keep cultivating that relationship with a spiritual teacher grounded in tradition – or stuff can go frighteningly awry.
In the thugs' case, I am under the impression that they are not consulting with anyone. They are acting out of rage and impulse.
Also, Torah is a complicated web and you're never done learning. So a Talmud piece could be quoted, but unless you are a scholar and know the context and related source material (I am not, but thankfully I know people that are), you could easily draw the wrong conclusions.
To a certain degree Judaism teaches that this ambiguity is deliberate. The doors of Torah are open to all Jews- that are serious students. Torah was not meant to be casually googled in isolation. It was meant to be toiled over, studied with effort, with a teacher that one has sought and cultivated. It's not easy-chair stuff.
Plus, free will is a basic tenet of Judaism. The more powerful a concept is, and has potential for holiness, the more power and pull it will have toward ugliness as well. This Kabbalistic teaching explains how every challenge we have is carefully calibrated for maximum free will. So much more to say here; hope I haven't confused you.
I hope this answers (at least somewhat) your insightful question, and I am always happy to hear more where that came from.
Thank you for these detailed answers, Ruchi. I had not understood before about the "unbroken chain" model of learning Torah in Orthodoxy, nor about the paradoxical potential that you explain here of Torah's ambiguity and how that produces an openness of holy concepts to the pitfalls of human free will. Thanks also for the continued friendly willingness to explain it all.
Ruchi, you wrote, "Torah must be studied with a teacher that has learned it from someone from the previous generation, back all the way till Sinai. As soon as a person starts self-interpreting, with no objective, masoretic (of mesorah) tradition, you are going to have divergence from the original intent. "
I have two questions about this; I hope that's ok (and that you're still reading comments on this thread).
1. Where is the room for our Hidushei Torah, our new ideas about what the Torah is or might be saying? When my family discusses the Torah portion at the Shabbat table, sometimes we mention what the commentators say, but more often we try to engage the text and find our own answers. Do more Orthodox families not do this?
2. Commentators on the Torah come up with widely varying interpretations of it. It is difficult to accept that every interpretation they present is one that they heard from their teacher (who heard it from his teacher, etc.) It seems much more likely that they figured out the interpretation on their own. How do we know that their interpretations are based on tradition or that our own are not? And how can all of *their* interpretations be "right"?
Thank you Ruchi. I struggle with questions of Mesorah and rabbinical authority.
Hi Square Peg and welcome to OOTOB! I clicked through some of your blog posts and found them really interesting, thoughtful, and authentic. I love that both your blog and your question are searching and respectful.
Great questions above. Here are my thoughts:
Novel ideas absolutely have their place in any Torah discussion. It will be in the context of "does this jive with the existing tradition." For example, often at our Shabbat table, someone will throw out a thought or question and the rest of us will try to think of answers or insights. But if one of those answers or insights contradict an existing tenet or precept, it probably can't be valid.
Re: commentators, novel thoughts are traditionally presented to a senior scholar to review, to determine if it jives with tradition or is in conflict with it. Varying opinions may not necessarily conflict (I have a few example if you wish, but don't want to make this too long); a senior scholar will know if it stands in diametric opposition to mesorah.
As well, if someone is offering novellae, he/she will traditionally preface it with "I haven't actually seen a source for this, but I was thinking that perhaps… x, y and z" so the listeners understand that the insight is a suggestion rather than authoritatively established Torah.
If I did not fully answer your questions, I would welcome any follow up questions.
Thanks Ruchi, for the willingness to engage in this conversation. I really respect your ability to make your blog interesting, real, *and* respectful. Commenters follow your example and make this a safe and productive place.
Can you give an example of what you wrote, "if one of those answers or insights contradict an existing tenet or precept, it probably can't be valid."?
I have been taking a class on Parshanim, commentators. It's fascinating. The commentators often disagree with one another, often vehemently. And they don't always seem to agree with the established Mesorah. For example, Rashbam was wiling to advance interpretations that contradicted Halacha (!) in his search for the simple meaning of the text. His beliefs and behavior were fully in accord with Halacha, but his interpretations of Tanach were not necessarily. If they can disagree with the received Mesorah, why can't we?
Thank you again.
🙂 Thank you. That was and continues to be my goal, so I'm so grateful.
I find your comment very intriguing. What is "Parshanim" – I've never heard that word before. I've heard of the word "Meforshim" which means commentators. Equally curious who the presenter is and what his/her orientation is vis-a-vis mesorah. But especially curious what the sources are for the Rashbam assertion. Can you share?
I do know that sometimes a "new" thinker (such as Rabbi Yisrael Salanter) was viewed with skepticism by some contemporaries since it was on the heels of Shabbtai Tzvi, the false messiah, and the rabbinic authorities at the time were very apprehensive of new movements. However, in his own lifetime it became obvious that his teachings were in line with mesorah and not deviating to form a new movement.
Your response sent me to my dictionaries (Alkalai Heb-Eng and Even Shoshan Heb-Heb) to check the terminology I'm used to using! Mefaresh and Parshan seem to be two different words for the same thing — a commentator. Rashi is given as an example of a Parshan.
The class I'm taking is in Jerusalem and is fascinating. She (the teacher) started a few years ago and each year she teaches about two or three Parshanim. She's going in historical order. The aim is to give us a sense of who they were and what their approach was. Unfortunately I missed the first couple of years of the class, when she covered Rashi, Rashbam. and others. However, when we study a particular Parshan we often compare his commentary to the commentary of other Parshanim to see what is different about the Parshan's commentary and what characterizes it. So I have been able to get *some* sense of Rashbam and Rashi from seeing other commentators compared to them.
When we studied Ibn Ezra we learned that one of the characteristics of his commentary was that even though he was a "Pashtan" (commentator who tried to extract the simple meaning of the text), he would not "approve" an idea that was counter to Halacha. Having come from a world in which Karaites had made inroads, he was careful not to give them any ammunition.
Rashbam, OTOH, was presented as an example of someone who tried purely to get to the simple meaning of the text, even when that conflicted with Halacha! In the society he lived in, he could more easily take for granted strict adherence to Halacha, no matter what he thought the Torah was saying. Ibn Ezra came from a society that couldn't take that for granted, and it influenced his commentary. As an example, see Rashbam's commentary of Breishit 1:5 and Ibn Ezra's commentary on Shemot 16:25 which references it. I sort of recall other examples, but didn't find them now when I looked at my notes.
I hope that I have done justice to my learned teacher's teaching. Any mistakes in my presentation here are surely mine and not hers.
I haven't discussed orientation with my teacher, but my strong impression is that she is Orthodox. The only agenda seems to be to increase our knowledge and enrich our love of learning Torah. FWIW, most of the women in the class seem Orthodox, from the little I can glean from sitting in class with them.
Ruchi, this conversation is getting rather long, detailed, and off the topic of your post. Would you care to continue it by email?
good idea! ruchi@jewishfamilyexperience.org.