Browsing Tag


Uncategorized April 23, 2012

Israel: a Failed Marriage?

Intro: I rarely follow Israeli politics.

Now before you write me off, hear this:  when my kids start reporting intricacies and details of their disagreements, he said/she said, then I did this, then he did that, and that’s why we whatever, an intense wave of fatigue washes over me.  My eyes begin to close, my limbs become heavy, and my speech becomes slurred.  I can’t even listen.

When I hear news from Israel that there was a terrorist attack or an army debacle, I feel awful.  My eyes well up with tears, my lips begin to move in prayerful entreaties, and my heart contracts in pain.


When I read analyses that read like “he said/she said… then they did this and it was in retaliation for that, but that was only because whatever…” that’s when the fatigue hits.

Imagine that Israel and the Palestinians are a couple.  A couple with kids (the Land).  And they’re married (live jointly in the same place).  And they fight.  Ooh, bitterly.  Acrimoniously.  Fatally.  And the history is so long, so bad, and so tangled, that you can’t even unravel anymore who said what and who did what first, second, and third.  And then all the relatives get involved.

I am by conscious choice NOT discussing who’s at fault.  A marriage can be a failure, whether one member is abusive or it’s a mutually disastrously damaged entity.  Of course, I privately hold a very strong opinion on the matter, but that is not the subject of this post, and I’ll probably never write that post.  What’s the point?  Some will agree, and others will hate me.  Meh.

What I am saying is, if this were a couple, and they have a mutual child (by default if not by birthright), and they came to therapy in this state of dysfunction, would YOU counsel them to stay together?  Would YOU consider them peace partners?

This couple needs a divorce.  There is NO WAY to amicably (or in any other fashion) save this relationship. 

Great, Ruchi.  Now what?  Who’s moving out?  And who’s getting the kids?

I don’t know.  And I’m grateful I don’t need to decide.  But one thing is f’shore – these two will never get along, and the children are simply being damaged in the process.

Agree?  Disagree?  Flawed analogy?

Uncategorized August 8, 2011

Sad Day

Tonight and tomorrow.  Sad day.

I’ll be sitting shiva.

For the Temple.  In Jerusalem.

That I lost 2000 years ago.

I’ll sit on low chairs.  Not eat.  Not drink.  Not make small talk.

I didn’t know the Temple, much.

I’ve heard about it, though.

Seen the ruins.  Heard about the miracles.  Prayed for its return.

Cried, for the sorry state we find ourselves in today.  In spiritual disconnect and confusion.

Hard to mourn, for that which you never had.

That just makes it sadder.

To distract myself with blogging would be wrong.

I want to dwell on my shiva, not be distracted from it.

My fellow Jews, we are one family.  We all sit shiva together.

We need each other, for comfort and support.

Can’t afford to hate… to gossip… to vilify.

If we were sitting shiva for a person, would we, could we fight, while burying our loved one?

People do.


I pray for the return of my loss.

A rebuilt Temple.

A rebuilt Jerusalem.

A rebuilt relationship.

Between us and God.

Between us and each other.

Between us and ourselves.

Amen, may it be so.