It turns out that while Anglos of all stripes think they’re speaking English, there are numerous ways to misunderstand each other:
NY/Midwest/South
US/Great Britain/Australia
Ortho/Non/other point on the spectrum
So, take the quiz! See what happens.
1. What do you do with a 2-year-old?
- potty train
- toilet train
- pamper him
- sofa
- couch
- not sure, but it’s encased in plastic
3. What do you call the bag that kids use for school?
- backpack
- knapsack
- briefcase
- Seriously? Briefcases are for people that have completed law school.
4. What is a kids’ favorite pasta dish?
- mac ‘n cheese
- macaroni with ketchup
- farfellach
5. What do you call sparkling water?
- Pellegrino
- soda water
- seltzer
6. What is the meal you eat at 6 pm?
- dinner
- supper if at home, dinner if at a restaurant or fundraiser
- supper
7. What do you call the World Wide Web?
- Innernet (as in counnertop and Conninennal Airlines)
- Internet
- Whazzat?
8. What do you call your mother?
- My mom
- My mother
- Mommy
9. What do you call the vacation from school in the winter?
- Winner break (see: innernet)
- Winter vacation
- Umm… Chanukah?
10. What phrase do you use to end a phone conversation?
- Talk to you later (even if you won’t)
- Be well, take care
- Zy gezunt
11. What do you do with children at 7:30 pm?
- Put them to bed
- Put them to sleep
- Go shluffy
12. What phrase do you use upon complimenting your children?
- Knock on wood
- Thank G-d, Baruch Hashem
- Kenainahara poo poo poo
Scoring!!
Mostly ones: You likely have very little Yiddish influence in your lexicon. Mazel tov on the Queen’s English.
Mostly twos: Traces of Ortho-speak, but you’re still a chameleon.
Mostly threes: Ortho-speak rules! Mazel tov!
I've always noticed the "pamper" thing and never understood why all diaper brands are called pampers. Then again when we photocopy something, everyone (not just Jews or frummies) tends to say we're xeroxing.
Go shluffy is my personal fave– such a cute phrase.
OK, I was raised on the West Coast! When we moved here my poor daughter was asked by a new classmate to get her purple briefcase from a classroom for her. Dear daughter was happy to be asked to do a favor for New Classmate and was also very intrigued, thinking that a purple brief case would be quite an exotic and beautiful item; but alas, could not find it anywhere in the classroom and reported this sadly to her new classmate. New Classmate then entered the room and, casting a disgusted look upon DD, immediately spotted her purple BACKPACK on a desk and left the room with it. Not off to a good start.
If my kids start calling their backpacks "briefaces" I think I might scream.
Heather: frummies also say a "tissue" and non say "a kleenex" – what's up with that?
Anonymous and aemom, funny…
When I ws a girl my family had a strong southern pull, but with northern flair (Maryland is southern to the north and northern to the south!) They always called the couch a "davenport" the toilet a "commode" and a purse a "pocketbook". I say none of those now as an adult… but I figured I'd put in my two cents regardless. heh
my husband grew up with a "front room" instead of a "living room" – apparently since his house was built like a narrow train, with the nice room up front. 🙂
Thanks for the smile,MY mom would always say shluffy to my boys, I also say it…. one of the few that I use.
davenport… that's a new one. purse and pocketbook is a confusing one. in ny they call it a purse if you're a tween and a pocketbook is for a grownup… here if i try to say pocketbook everyone looks at me like i fell from the moon.
Shluffy seems to have a lot of warm fuzzy feelings attached to it… what about "keppie" for "head"?
Totally lol! (Is that your couch, by the way????)
My kids make such fun of me when I say knapsack. But they roll their eyes when I say "mom." I also remember being the only one growing up to call that third meal "dinner." Everyone else called it "supper." 🙂