Sorry, readers, for the LOONG lag in blog posts.  Between Passover, my kids being off, getting back to all my responsibilities after the long break, and getting to my spring cleaning that I didn’t choose to do before Passover – I haven’t actually even sat in front of a real computer in days.  Thanks to those of you that let me know you’ve missed my posts – that means the world to me!

Tuesday evening I taught a class for a local group of young Orthodox women in their early 20’s called “Finding and Keeping Your Soulmate.”  I started the class by asking them, “Why are we here on this earth?  What’s the point?”  They knew the answer I was looking for: to grow.

What does it mean to grow?  To be a grower?  To get into the mind of a “grower,” here is an unsolicited email I received from a friend of mine who became religious in her adult life.  She had had a great day, and just wanted to share it with me and few friends.  It tells clearly what the life of a “grower” looks like.   [Note: “Hashem” is a Hebrew term for God.]

Last night when I went to sleep I kept thanking Hashem
for an amazing day. I didn’t go anywhere special or meet anyone famous
and actually it was a very difficult, stressful day, but the greatness
and the pleasure was in the difficulty and “ordinary” day. 
I started off davening [praying] after my morning coffee as I typically do, but yesterday morning I was keenly aware of my desire to rush through the davening
to get to work. I discovered this past year that I have a very strong
work ethic, which is good. A top priority in my life is to stay on top of my work, give my clients top service, try to get as much done in a
day as possible and bill as many hours as I can (to make money). I
realized yesterday when I was davening (but while my thoughts were on work) that if I put 1/100th of the drive, passion and energy into serving Hashem and grabbing mitzvahs,
as I do trying to satisfy clients and bill, I’d be in a lot better
shape. SO, I was/am so grateful to see this so clearly. Now I have
to figure out how to channel that drive into my service to Hashem.
Next thing that happened was I was on my way to a dentist
appointment when someone from my office called to tell me she made a
major mistake and sent out 28 letters over my signature that should not
have gone out. At first I was like “OH NO” and then I just dealt with
it. When I got to the office a few people were talking to her, so she
and I didn’t talk. She left work shortly after that and I didn’t get to
even say hello to her. I called her because I wanted her to know that I
wasn’t avoiding her or upset with her. I’ve made lots of mistakes in my
lifetime and wanted her to know that it was just a mistake. I left her a
message and she was so appreciative. If the roles were reversed and she
hadn’t said hi to me or spoken to me about the mistake, I think I would
have felt so much worse.
So, back to the dentist. I had an unexpected root canal and the
tooth was “hot.” I needed a lot of Novocaine and some of it dripped down
my throat causing a sensation (or perhaps reality) that I couldn’t
swallow. It was a very scary feeling. When I spoke, my voice sounded to
me like I swallowed helium, although the dentist said I sounded like my
normal self. I thought I was going to have a panic attack. I started
talking to G-d. I asked for His help and told Him I knew He was with me.
I pictured that image that is often used of Him holding me in His arms
and comforting me like a baby. Thank G-d, there was no panic attack and I
got through it ok. It’s painful today physically, but I felt such a connection to Hashem.
I am SO busy at work (thank G-d) and will be going away for 3
weeks, so the stress (that I put on myself) is pretty high right now. I davened that Hashem
should give me the clarity to work through a complicated matter at
work and do so efficiently. To my great surprise, I had an awesome day
at work! Hashem gave me clarity in areas that I didn’t have before and I was able to get a lot done.  
THEN, I went to Heinen’s and was waiting on the express lane and realized I wanted to pick up a plant for someone’s
birthday today. I stepped out of line only for a minute and when I got
back 2 people pushed my cart aside and went in front of me. I was upset
for about a half a second and then realized, it’s an express lane,
moving quickly, I left my cart, they had no idea how long I’d be
gone and they had every right to go ahead of me. But I decided to go to
another lane anyway, which was now shorter. 
There was an older,
heavy man with a cane in a wheelchair cart in front of me. I wasn’t
sure how he was going to get his items onto the conveyor. I’m never sure
if I should offer help in these situations or not; does the person
appreciate the help or do they want their independence? I leaned over
and asked him if I could help him and he was so appreciative. The person
in front of him took quite some time to check out so he and I had such a
nice conversation. We laughed about a number of things and talked about
his favorite candy bar, as I got one off the shelf for him. I was
thanking Hashem privately for giving me the opportunity to have this interaction with him. It felt so special. I really felt I was living Hahem’s will.
And lastly, my husband had two difficult situations yesterday
which he shared with me in depth. I felt such pleasure and pride in him
and the way he handled the challenges. I was feeling so blessed to have
him as my husband (which thank G-d, I feel often).

SO, I went to sleep, reliving my day and thanking Hashem for all of it. It felt like a day that Hashem was very happy with. I know I was!