cross-posted from jfxramblings.blogspot.com
The Israel experience I just had with 40-some other friends and family was unforgettable. There were many highs and many precious moments.
But I’m going to tell you about a low. The kind of thing I didn’t post on Facebook. And that was the climbing of Masada.
The past few times I’d been to Masada we didn’t have the option to climb it. Time was short, it was a large group, and we all just rode the cable car up. But this time around, Patrick, our indefatigable tour guide, offered us the option of the climb.
“For sure!” I proclaimed lustily. I work out. I walk. And I take a weekly class at the J. A hard one. (Thanks, Jody.) I prepped with the right clothing and hydration, joined my fellow jazzed-up cohorts, and began the climb.
Here’s what no one told me:
1. I should have used my inhaler first (I have exercise-induced asthma). Except I didn’t bring it to Israel.
2. Walking every day is NOT called working out. It’s good for you, but it’s not taxing.
3. I MODIFY Jody’s class but you can’t modify Masada.
I made it to the top – a half hour after everyone else, feeling like a loser. I cracked jokes about the experience, but the truth is, it stung.
All my lessons I’ve taught in mussar about being on our own journey, not comparing yourself to others, looking at how far you’ve come instead of how much is left to go – out the window. The struggle was real. Every time I looked to the top to see how far that infernal cable car station was, it seemed to move further away. (I tried telling our guide, Ohr, that it was a mirage but explaining the word “mirage” in Hebrew proved too complicated. Especially while I was huffing and puffing.) My daughter Yitty kept me company which was sweet – and made me feel a tad elderly.
When I got home I decided that I needed to exercise more. To reach physical exertion more regularly. To make sure I didn’t huff and puff when something taxing was requested of me. But it was fueled by negative emotions. By envy. And shame. And pride.
Can positive change come about via negative emotions? This is a question I discuss regularly in my classes. I believe the answer is: yes, but the BEST positivity and constructive change will arise when emotions and motivations are positive. Nevertheless, if I can use my Masada debacle as an entry point to understand others better, it will have not been in vain.
As we enter the new year full of good resolutions, here’s wishing us all positive change, positive energy and positive growth – and remember. YOU CAN’T MODIFY MASADA. Don’t say you weren’t warned.
Sounds a bit like my experience climbing Mt. fuji. Congratulations on making it to the top!
Thanks, I needed to hear that today. Maybe next time you are in Israel you can invite ootob fans here to come meet you.
You go girl!
So, I think your next book should be on Mussar. I love all your FB posts about it and THIS post, too.
I agree with Nina about your next book being on Mussar. Great post! You always have such real, honest and penetrating analyses of the lessons we can take from life experiences.
Thanks all 🙂 My next book IS going to incorporate a lot of mussar lessons. Stay tuned!
I love the word Masada….it has three letter 'a's in it, which us my favourite letter, and ?I see 'a' in bright red, which is my favourite colour: and I associate it with G-d's strength( when I sing the angel prayer at night, I see the angels in colours….Gabriel is that beautiful, bright, strong red)
(From my autistic/Asperger view….might sound a little strange, but is lovely)
Alex
Larger question about what seems to be your standards: The advice to not compare to others, to see yourself on your own journey, seems on the face of it to be so "positive" and even admirable. But doesn't this incident show that it has a weird self-punishing side effect, namely that the demand to be positive can make you feel bad about yourself?
I see this in some members of my family who embrace 12-step-style and "own journey" philosophies. They then scold themselves and each other–"I need to be here now, ugh!", "Why don't you center yourself?", "It's a journey!", "Stop being so negative!"
I see these moments as a kind of passive-aggressive attitude toward oneself, berating oneself for not being positive. I frankly would prefer open-eyed negativity without the self-reproach. Is it really a good idea to hold yourself to standards of goodness and positivity that, when unmet, twist around into self-reproach? What about accepting the negativity wholeheartedly?
Interesting question. The mussar texts in Judaism have a lot to say about this. Self-flaggelation is a tool of the "yetzer hara" – the evil inclination. Wholehearted acceptance of the negative, along with a sincere effort to move toward the positive, is the Jewish approach.
Good job making it to the top, Ruchi.
Hi
It was an interesting blog post to read. I just felt that you did miss something very important, the Jewish feeling when climbing up Masada. Our history that occurred there.
This is unfortunately common for Jews not living in Israel.
Here is a video clip about experience Israel that I published some time ago.
https://youtu.be/a4z18cFt8KM
Git Shabbos
Eli