Rabbi Akiva Tatz is one of my all-time favorite authors. His works must be savored in small, focused, thoughtful doses, like a bar of very expensive chocolate.

I’ve been getting to know his Letters to a Buddhist Jew, as I lead two classes in a kind of book club. We’ve been on the book for about a year. Surprisingly, not everyone is as in love with the book as I am. For some, it’s too abstract; for others, it requires too much background knowledge; for others, it simply gives too much airtime to Buddhism.

I am breathtakingly in love with it.

Consider this excerpt:

A Jewish woman who has committed her life to Hinduism and yoga came to ask me some questions about Judaism. She happens to be firmly feminist in her views, and I presumed that separation of the sexes in Judaism was going to be an issue. I braced myself for the attack.

It never came. Her school of yoga always separates the sexes; they regard the mixing of men and women to be distracting and never allow it. She had absolutenly no problem with Judaism on this issue. If the yogis do it, it is wise and good.

…she has a hierarchy of value systems. Her yoga comes first, her feminism second (and her Judaism third). Now the higher system in the hierarchy defines the values before the lower; if a feature of yoga conflicts with a feature of feminism, yoga wiill win (and there is no need to change that when you get down to Judaism). If you see someone who cannot accept a feature of Judaism, you can assume that they have accepted a “higher” system that defines their values, and that is why that feature is a problem; the system higher in their hierarchy must win.

What I find singularly fascinating about this observation is that the woman in question was likely completely unaware of this hierarchy. She had probably never observed it or broken it down quite that way. When I think of what my hierarchy of values are, I might say, Judaism first, family second, popular opinion third… but what colors my opinions? Do I really let popular opinion be third?

And do I always filter my decisions through the lens of Judaism? What of when Judaism and family conflict – then what?

What do you think of Rabbi Tatz’s assertion? What’s your hierarchy of values? What wins out in a conflict?

Loosely related post: Mechitza-phobia