A conversation from my recent post “Saturday Joggers“:
Anonymous: A few Shabbosim [Ed: Shabbats] ago I was thrown off when I passed a lady doing
gardening work and wished her a “good morning” and she responded with an
enthusiastic “Good Shabbos!”[I thought, God,]…here is a woman who is
gardening on Shabbos because she doesn’t know any better and yet she is
obviously so very proud to be Jewish and to let me know she is Jewish!
How great are Your people!Miriambyk: As an O Jew with non-observant
friends and family, I would like to suggest a modest reframe to
Anonymous above. Can we learn to respect the possibility that the
Jewish neighbor is gardening on Shabbat not because she “doesn’t know
better” but perhaps because to her tending to a garden is part of
celebrating Gd’s universe, changing her routine, or relaxing, and
therefore a CHOICE of how to spend Shabbat? No, it is not halachic, but
does it really diminish my halachic observance if I acknowledge someone
else’s right to choose to observe differently?Me: Miriam, while I think that the
percentage of Jewish gardeners/joggers on Shabbat who have made that
calculation is quite tiny, I think you hit on something extraordinarily
important that I think about all the time:Does it really diminish my halachic observance if I acknowledge someone else’s right to choose to observe differently?
This
is the crux of this whole blog. Me acknowledging that everyone has
free will to act and believe as they choose, even if I privately
“believe” or “know” or whatever you want to call it (I choose to say
believe because it’s less confrontational) that it’s not halachically
correct, is not problematic. That’s because God gave us all free will
in the first place. It’s built in to Torah philosophy.Some
people are scared that this smacks of pluralism. I disagree. Pluralism
means there are many correct ways (or even all ways have validity).
Free will means everyone has a right to do what I think is incorrect.Anonymous [I believe the same original Anonymous]: Ruchi, how do you consider
someone’s actions to be “incorrect” and still not judge them? When I see
someone whose actions are often incorrect, according to my assessment, I
will either judge them or pity them. I’m thinking of people who parent
poorly, are unethical, irresponsible, etc. So why would we not judge or
pity someone who we thought was constantly doing wrong things on
shabbos?
And I promised a post dedicated to just that.
Recently, a friend of mine posted the following question on Facebook:
“Poll: Can you/should you separate a person from his actions/beliefs? For example, can you like and/or respect someone whose beliefs and/or actions you find abhorrent? Not ILLEGAL, like a murderer, but, say, [someone] whose religious beliefs or lifestyle are radically different from yours?”
I was astonished at the question. I do that all the time! It’s my breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I couldn’t possibly interact with the world if I didn’t, regularly, judge behaviors without judging humans. One of the very clear values I was raised with was “knowing right from wrong.” I knew how to say that before I even understood what the words meant.
I feel, strongly, that every person, and especially parents (and aren’t we our own parents?) must regularly, consciously, and purposefully engage in judgment. Before your tear your hair out and delete me from your feed, read on.
Judge values. Judge ideologies. Judge actions. Judge character traits. Judge behaviors. Judge systems.
They’re either admirable, deplorable, or somewhere on the spectrum.
But never, ever judge people. Because they’re either: making a mistake; never learned that value; have chosen something else, erroneously thinking it valid; are right and you’re wrong; have come a long way unbeknownst to you; already regret it and are planning a redo; have an equally valid but foreign method of achieving an admirable goal; or you totally read the interaction wrong to begin with.
In Judaism, there is a mitzvah to do all this mental gymnastic gyration: “Give each person the benefit of the doubt.”
Observation: the less intensely a person is invested in their Judaism, the easier they find it not to judge those that are less observant. But the harder they find it to judge right from wrong. I say this not as a judgment (heh) but as a personal experience. Very often, people ask me for advice on matters of right and wrong. When I supply what I know from Torah wisdom, they are so grateful, and amazed that such clear demarcations exist.
And the more intensely a person is invested in their Judaism, the harder they find it not to judge those that are less observant, but the easier they find it to judge right from wrong.
(Other observation: the injunction to not judge humans applies equally to those more religious, and to those less religious. But I speak here not solely of judgment in religious living, but in parenting, eating, health, emotional savviness, and interpersonal intelligence.)
Note: it doesn’t say you must give every IDEOLOGY the benefit of the doubt.
And that has made all the difference.
So how do you know who’s really right? If there is, indeed, a right and wrong? Fortunately, I don’t worry about that. Because I feel that in my life I have done my due diligence in examining the world to the best of my knowledge and trying to make the most educated and objective decisions as far as living my values. If I’m wrong, I believe that God will understand and love me anyway, since I’m doing my personal best. If I’m right and others are wrong, I believe God understands what their personal best is, in a way that they themselves aren’t even aware of. And where we’re both right… we’ll party together in the shared joy that we haven’t lost our humanity in the struggle of figuring it out.
Agree? Disagree? Impossible tightrope?
Related posts:
Judgmental is Not a Religion, It’s a Personality Defect
Meet Me in Chapter Three
The Danger of Being Orthodox
Wow, Ruchi, thanks so much for articulating what I've been thinking about so much lately. I feel like judging was a particularly unsavory quality of my young and early-middle adult years. Over the past three years, however, I also feel like I have made yee-ooge strides- not trying to toot my own horn by saying that, rather wanting to give props to how it's come about.
I have been privileged and blessed to be able to learn Torah quite a bit since coming back from my first JWRP trip in 2009. I have had several amazing teachers, the best of whom have inspired me to judge only that a person is trying their personal best. The more Torah I learn, the more I find I am able to look at a person's behaviors, and be objective about a person's right to choose a behavior (not an illegal or harmful one) that I disagree with. I feel so much less judgmental than I used to, and I find it's made me a better friend, and a better pediatrician. Tested recently by the spike in media attention to prolonged breast-feeding, I am able to see the difference between someone coming to me for professional advice vs coming to me for support- while I may not promote certain behaviors, as long as they are not harmful, I will not judge the person doing them. I remember learning "As we judge others, so Hashem will judge us." I am so humbled by my mistakes, I cannot bear the thought of being judged harshly by Hashem, and that thought alone is usually enough to remind me not to judge.
doc, I, too, am embarrassed at the judgmentalism of my youth. I'm sure in 10 years there are things I do now that will embarrass my future me. That means we're growing, so I'll live with the discomfort!
What you said about "As we judge others, so Hashem will judge us" is one of the most powerful lessons I've ever learned. Thanks for the reminder.
Ruchi, I appreciate this blog because you have a great way of presenting issues.
I was raised with the notion that 'they don't know better' by my father who was very involved in outreach before it was popular.
I've often wondered about those who 'do know better.'
Yes, WE have to 'know right from wrong', but we're only judging the actions, not the people, non matter how much we think THEY know.
I've learned that it's not our place to decide how much they should observe.
Thanks, Shifra.
Then- there are no evil people. For what is an evil person, if not someone
who constantly chooses the wrong behavior, regardless of the reason?
Can we judge murders and rapists to be evil people or are they just plain old people who made really, really bad choices? What about armed robbers? What about wife-beaters? Child molesters? White collar criminals? Compulsive liars? Abusive parents? Can we judge any of these?
At some point, your behaviors become who you are. Anyone can have a bad day, or a bad week. But if you keep on having those bad days, at some point you just become a bad person.
"At some point, your behaviors become who you are." What would you say that point is? (I have my own thoughts but curious first to hear yours.) When, indeed, does a person cross that line from doing bad to being bad?
I don't know.
I think it might be a continuum based on the particular act, the frequency, and the efforts the person is making towards improvement. So unremorseful serial murderers might be on one side of the contiuum and a parent who is trying really hard not to yell harshly at her kids, but occassionnaly fails, might be on the other side. The former are evil right away- their actions define them. The latter, not so much, their actions are less harmful, more infrequent, and they are trying to change so their actions don't define them as much.
It seems to me there is a difference between behavior that is wrong and that which is Evil. Wearing flip-flops, shorts, and a tank top to work may be wrong. One could even say it is morally wrong to be dressed that way. But is it evil? Murder is evil, and abuse is evil, but a Jew eating pork is not evil, even though Gd tells me not to eat pork, and even if a Jew is deeply committed to eating pork daily, with no remorse. Perhaps we can reserve our judgment for truly evil actions, and leave Gd responsible for judging those who do not follow His laws.
I think miriambyk makes a really good point. It makes sense to condemn people who harm others, but if someone breaks the Sabbath or doesn't keep kosher that's between them and God.
Sure, but an orthodox Jew does not, halachically, distinguish between people who harm others and people who harm their relationship with God. In orthodoxy, if Hashem made both types of laws, they come from the same morality source and must be obeyed equally. For example, worshipping idols is, halachically speaking, of the same gravity as murder, which is also of the same gravity as a married woman who has an affair.
So if, halachically, a murderer is evil, so too is a buddhist Jew, I think.
And driving on shabbat, halachically speaking, is probably more morally wrong than gossipping about someone, from what I understand. For example, an orthodox person may not eat food baked by a person who drives on shabbat ( with certain exceptions) but she can eat from food baked by a gossipper.
That's why I'm having trouble understanding how the no-judgment thing works on a practical basis. If I can eat in one person's home but not the other, isn't that inherently judging the gossiper better than the shabbat driver?
The Torah definition of evil is deliberately, intentionally, repeatedly , rremorselessly, and with full knowledge of its magnitude, violating precepts of the Torah.
That's why murderers et al are evil. You don't have to be an Orthodox Jew to have learned to stay away from those behaviors.
Violating Shabbos, gossipping, or dressing immodestly, on the other hand, need to be taught and need time for the magnitude to sink in.
The reason observance of Shabbos is the litmus test for trusting kashrut is simple: it's a definitive declaration that you subscribe to an halachic life.
Anon–There is absolutely a distinction. If someone is harming others, you turn him in to the police so they can put him in jail. If someone is not keeping kosher, you don't punish the person for that or force them to stop. You just don't eat in house so you can avoid doing the same thing yourself.
There is a big difference in how you react to people who aren't obeying.
Ruchi -is Sarah correct, or is she reflecting the fact that we live in galut? In a halachic state if I saw a Jewish friend eating pork, would I be required to try to dissuade them? If I failed, would I report to whatever the equivalent of the police would be, so that a beit din could administer lashes?
Sarah – the principle of 'kol yisrael aveilim zeh bah zeh' (all Jews are responsible for one another) means that in theory my welfare is directly impacted by the fact that another Jew eats pork. When sinning caused the Beit Hamikdash to be destroyed, it wasn't only the sinners who were exiled – everyone was. Is it understandable for someone who believes this to say they are acting in self defence when they object to Jews who violate Shabbat?
Larry–I was referring to how the religion is actually observed. In practice, we don't report pork-eating Jews to the authorities or beat them.
I hear lots of criticisms of Orthodoxy like, "But they believe in stoning Sabbath desecrators!" Since it doesn't happen, I think it's unfair criticism. Likewise people should note that Orthodox Jews do not respond to bein adam laMakom sins the same they do to a robber or murderer–whether or not you should in theory.
Larry: wherever we live, we are required to attempt to dissuade all sinners, but reporting them to a court of law is done only under very specific circumstances.
and yes, we are all impacted by any Jew's sin, but if we judge them favorably, so G-d will judge us as well – thus this may well be the most important mitzva to keep!
Sarah – sorry to derail the conversation slightly, but a few months ago we were talking about the differing conceptions of charity/chesed in O and non-O circles. I think you and Ruchi would be interested in the article Re-anchoring Universalism to Particularism: The Potential Contribution of Orthodoxy to the Pursuit of Tikkun Olam.
Larry–Thanks for the link! I'll take a look.
Larry, in answer to your first question, there is a mitzvah to "rebuke" your fellow Jew, whether he is transgressing an interpersonal mitzvah or a ritual one. However, Sarah is correct that this is mostly impossible today because it's very hard to do it right (with love, dignity, good chance the person will listen to you, no ulterior motives/ego). [Mostly impossible, btw, doesn't mean always impossible.]
However in the times of Sanhedrin, and in the Messianic age in the future, it was and will be easier to do, because people in those eras were/will be very aware and educated and motivated in keeping the mitzvot. They really wanted that motivation and support.
In those eras there were/will be a system in place to help the community keep Torah – which would jive with an era where Torah awareness, motivation and scholarship are widespread.
You would ask your (Torah observant) friend to stop eating shrimp cocktail. If he refused, you would say, "Listen, my friend. I love you and know you really want to keep Torah, and if you continue in this vein you know I'm obligated to testify in Beit Din [Torah court]." Then two witnesses would have to see it happen, warn the perp, the perp would have to re-offend in front of those witnesses within a short amount of time, the witnesses would have to testify and their alibi would have to jive, and then the Beit Din could proceed with the appropriate punishment, which was considered the perp's atonement.
"Reporting to Beit Din," per se, wasn't done.
To think of applying this to your typical pork-eating is ludicrous.
Regarding all Jews being responsible for one another, yes, and that's why the mitzvah of rebuke even exists. Jews who protest against Shabbos violation are sometimes motivated by their love for Shabbos and their equal love for their fellow Jew. Sometimes they're motivated by egotistical self-righteousness. Self-defense? Never heard that one…
Re: your link, it's really long so I didn't get through it all, but it's really interesting. Thanks so much for that.
And Rena: yes! Thanks.
I love this post and agree with almost the entire thing, especially the last paragraph. However, I would love to hear more on your observation that the less intensely a person is involved in their Judaism, the harder it is for them to judge right from wrong. I'm not sure what you mean by this. I'm not a religious person, and some of the most ethical people I know are secular Jews. Also, so many reform and secular Jews are intensely involved in social justice issues, etc, and seem to have a very firm grasp on the difference between right and wrong. Maybe our definitions of right and wrong are different? Or maybe I'm not understanding what you mean by "involved in their Judaism" (I am assuming you mean people who perform more mitzvot, as judged from an orthodox standpoint, but perhaps you are also counting secular Jews who still strongly identify with their Jewish background and culture). Or maybe I'm not understanding in some other way!
Anyway, like I said, I love this post overall and I think it's interesting that you and I can agree on judging actions/values/etc but not judging people, especially when we are coming at it from such different starting points.
Thanks, Becca! Nice to hear from you as always. Thanks for helping me crystallize what I meant by that aside in my post. I think that people that are very invested in their Judaism (and here I include Jews of any denomination who take their Judaism seriously and make thoughtful decisions of how to express it) are more likely to view the world in terms of "right" and "wrong." Exactly because they've spent much time sifting through options and hitting on what they consider the best expression of Judaism, it's kind of hard to be like "whatever, I'm right, you're right, everyone is right."
I imagine you could broaden this to include thoughtful, intentional living of any kind.
Example: I've been enlightened by a very healthy friend of mine as far as certain food that everyone considers healthy that are not necessarily healthy. I now see food choices more clearly as good/bad. I don't judge people (especially myself, since I hardly am consistent in actually eating only by these guidelines) but I do now see foods as good/bad, right/wrong. So, it's easier for me to make confident judgments about what is/isn't good for me, and harder for me to not judge people for eating badly (again, I myself am often in this category).
Whereas people that haven't invested a whole lot of time/energy/effort into what's healthy, what's not, will be a lot less likely to judge people, but also have a much harder time knowing what's good/bad to eat.
Back to religion: people that are kind of chilled about how they observe their Judaism are usually good about not judging (at least, not judging those that are less observant/marry out) but will have a hard time figuring out what is right and wrong in Judaism.
I feel like I'm talking in circles, and also, this is guesswork. It's not sourced or scientifically studied in any way so maybe I'm just babbling!
Thank you for that thoughtful reply, that makes a lot of sense. 🙂
I think, and I've made this point in our other conversations, is that it depends on how much effort one puts into something. If I spend all day, every day cleaning my house, I will want to see clean houses as good and non-clean houses as bad. My perception of that is a reward to myself for doing all that hard work. Same with religion or other arduous ventures, exercise, etc.
Anon, I think you make a good point about our psychology! Very interesting…..
There's a difference, though. Halachah itself teaches us that there are correct and incorrect behaviors. To view the world that way. Self-delusion or not.
I agree with Shifra's point that it is not for us to decide how others observe. It is to each their own to decide what being religious and spiritual means to them. This includes the way it manifests itself.
To me, I go to Shul every Shabbat and keep the 39 melachot. To my parents, Shabbat means going to shul from September to June and then spending the summer going on long bike rides. In the winter their Shabbat includes shul, but they go to the gym. Is it wrong that that is how they relax on their weekend because they have busy weeks? Not in my mind (granted for many years I joined them in those activities so my perspective is marred by those years of enjoying the family workout time).
So yes, I think you separate what makes you love/like a person from some of their actions. We don't always have to agree with one another, but we do have to respect what makes each of us human and fellow Jews, even where our values conflict. I think anonymous took the comments too far from what Ruchi is saying – she is not saying that rapists or abusive parents aren't dangerous people, she is saying that in many cases just because one person does something in a way that we disagree it does not mean that they are a bad person and there are many examples of agreeing to disagree in our daily lives.
A great post, and one that has led me back to your blog after reading but not posting for quite a while.
Glad to hear from you again!
This is a sidebar that developed on the Saturday Joggers post – something that was a total eye-opener for me – that there are people who intentionally and purposefully choose to honor Shabbos by its spirit even when that's counter to its letter of the law.
Perfect example of the judging thing:
When I see someone riding bikes on Shabbos, I would understand that as "not a Shabbos activity" since my life is dictated and frames by halacha. But then I can "not judge" on a lower level by saying: Everyone has free will to spend Shabbos how he sees fit. On a higher level, the not judging might sound like this: Maybe this person has chosen to honor Shabbos by spending the day outdoors with family instead of going to work or the mall.
While to me this is still a "mistake" as far as halacha is concerned, I can learn from everyone's commitment to make Shabbos special.
Love learning from everyone here.
This sort of misses the point, but if you were in certain sections of Brooklyn you might be making a mistake in assuming someone riding a bicycle on Yom Tov was violating the halacha. And as far I can tell, the same reasoning also applies to riding it on Shabbat inside an eruv.
This is another good reason not to rush to judgement – what is halacha in our community may not be so elsewhere.
Actually you're right, Larry. That was a sloppy example.
I thought riding a bike on shabbos was not an issue of carrying, but rather something to do with the type of wheels. We have an eruv here and no one rides bikes.
I have wondered about whether biking is something O Jews can do on shabbat. And also whether O women are for any reason prohibited from riding.
I am wondering more about what kind of a mind-change it is to think that people might be honoring shabbat in different ways, as opposed to just thinking they are not observing Shabbat at all.
Generally not. As far as women, the issue would be exposing your legs. If a woman is concerned about that, she would need to be creative in figuring out a way not to expose her legs (leggings under a skirt etc).
I'm not sure about your second paragraph. Can you clarify your question, if it is a question?
I was just wondering how you came to feel newly, or differently, about the idea that one could honor Shabbat in ways that are not halachically correct.
So about the biking: Is it that women can't show even the shape of their legs, as with leggings? Or just that the skin has to be covered?
Also I notice in the little German town I'm in right now that there is a sort of 1970s hotel with a weirdly huge Menorah on its roof. Would that be trying to signifying that it's kosher?? Apparently there is a strong but small Orthodox community here, my sources tell me.
Well, Miriambyk mentioned it as a possibility on my last post. I mentioned that I thought it was very small group that might know that much about Shabbat and educatedly make that choice. Then other commenters agreed with her, so I began to realize it wasn't an isolated thought.
Are you asking about the biking as far as halacha? The halacha is that a women shouldn't reveal the shape of her legs. If you're wearing leggings over a skirt and riding a bike, some Orthodox women would feel comfortable with that degree of coverage. Others wouldn't, since the skirt could blow in the wind and reveal the shape of the leg.
The menorah on the roof would definitely signify that it was once a Jewish establishment. Not necessarily is it still. Quite likely the Germans took over many Jewish establishments in the war to be used for other purposes. Here in Cleveland, if you go downtown to what used to be, 100 years ago, the Jewish area, many churches have Jewish stars and Hebrew letters since they used to be synagogues.
Er… leggings UNDER a skirt, of course. I do not recommend trying to wear leggings over a skirt.
Lol, I had a really funny image of a woman stuffing a skirt into leggings. In the particular case of riding a bike, couldn't looser pants be more modest? Because as you said the skirt could blow up ( or at a certain angle you could just see up the skirt). And, for safety reasons I'd be concerned since a long skirt could get caught on the chain and spokes. In this situation would loose pants/capris be allowed?
Since I was just online looking for a new swim dress, I couldn't resist posting about this…there is a company that now makes something called "the skant". It's a skirt that's closed on the bottom and around the legs under the knees (think mc hammer pants only a lot cuter) and is perfect for biking (or any other form of exercise). Nowadays, you can find just about anything! Lol.
Cute, Ranya! OOTOB… ask your local Orthodox rabbi!
My 2 cents about biking in a skirt: I do it all the time. The key is having a bike with a very low step-through, like a dutch city bike or a cruiser.
I am also a skirt-wearing biker, but not for Jewish modesty reasons. Short skirts, long skirts, doesn't matter, I commute by bike to work and wear a lot of dresses and skirts. And the low step-through is key to maintaining even secular modesty.
it seems to me that we are required to differentiate between judging the act and judging the person. I need to judge my own actions, according to my belief system, but not to judge another – always trying to give the benefit of the doubt: whether "he doesn't know better" or "this is the best he could do with the tools given him by G-d" or "this is how he chooses to glorify the Shabbat day, at this point in time".
This can apply even to the most evil – while at the same time not contradicting the need for punishment as well as that of protecting myself form damage or hurt.
I think this was also the basis of a discussion between Rabbi Meir and his wife Bruria – he wanted to pray to G-d that the sinners be destroyed whereas she opined to pray for their sins to wiped out, i.e. that they do teshuva.
Yes – and as far as I remember her opinion was deemed valid.
but that's not how shmoneh esrei reads (v'lmalshinim) or Shfoch Hamosecha at the seder. In those, we openly pray for the destruction of people.
In the Bruria story the sinners are "chot'im" – mistaken. Accidental sinners. In the 2 prayers you reference, we only ask God to destroy "wanton" (fully intentional and remorseless) sinners that have contributed to the destruction of the Jewish nation. (Note: we are not doing it ourselves. We are leaving it in God's fair hands.)
yes ruchi; to further clarify- "l'malshinim" refers to informers, those Jews who willingly and knowingly cause grievous harm to their fellow Jews; "Shfoch Hamosecha" refers to our enemies who seek to destroy us.
Shabbatot or Shabbasos is actually the correct word.
In Hebrew, yes. I was Englishizing.
Shabbatot or Shabbasos is actually the grammatically correct word.
Still thinking about this:
Ruchi: The Torah definition of evil is deliberately, intentionally, repeatedly , rremorselessly, and with full knowledge of its magnitude, violating precepts of the Torah.
So this means I as lazy-Reform am evil. For instance that I ride bicycles, and will continue to do so even having learned here precisely why I shouldn't per Torah (or at least the O interpretation thereof, which to me makes a difference). The only point that I can imagine someone offering in my favor would be the "full knowledge of its magnitude". But from you I now KNOW that magnitude, although I don't accept it. Probably a lot hangs on the definition of "know". I don't FEEL its magnitude or its obligation upon me, but I do know it from you. Evil or not? How can you NOT judge me for this?
Ugh you even copied my typo…
And the verdict is… Not evil!
You are correct. Knowing the "full magnitude," as I indicated, requires time, education, and an internal awareness.
My colleague Lori Palatnik has a great story about this: Her mother (who is not Orthodox) was visiting over Shabbat, and turned on the light. Lori's young child came running in to tell Lori, "Mommy, Bubby turned the light on, and it's Shabbat!"
She said, "Well, Bubby doesn't know about Shabbat" (meaning, in the don't-turn-on-lights way). Child says, "Yes, she does. I told her."
See? There's knowing, and there's KNOWING. Thankfully (back to the original point) it's not my job to play mind-reader and determine who's evil. God's domain.
There are some people that are EVIL. In the domain of interpersonal transgressions, they're fairly easy to identify. Everyone should KNOW about that. In the domain of ritual transgressions, leave it to God to make the call.
SBW: it is my understanding that "knowing" assumes:
an education by
loving teachers worthy of the title
that allowed you to internalize true Torah values
– if then you choose to knowingly transgress,
not because of succumbing to a passing passion but out of spite
– that can be considered evil.
which leaves lots of room to justify your actions.
I was at Steinsaltz ambassadors meeting today, and I heard an interesting story. A couple of the men at the meeting had for many years been in the habit of walking Rabbi Steinsaltz home on Friday evenings. One day he stopped them as some cars were driving by and he said something like When you see a Jew driving on Shabbat, don't you feel like standing in the road to block them, or yelling or throwing stones? You should never do that of course, it is completely counterproductive. But if you don't feel hurt when someone else is desecrating Shabbat your relationship with Hashem is lacking in the proper passion.
Well, that's interesting. One of the things I wrote in my 5 Things About Orthodoxy post was that when Jewish law is violated, it hurts, but on the other hand, every Jew is a sister and brother, so how do we navigate those those beliefs that sometimes clash?
One has to ask: the ones that actually DO protest: could it be something other than hurt that pushes them past the wanting to the doing? Maybe. Maybe not. It certainly calls up the whole not judging thing in a whole new way.
Hey, nice new logo with the letters OOTOB coming out of the box, it's funny!
thanks Sbw!
I like your new logo!
Thanks Sarah!
Love the new logo as well.
I'm still stuck, after reading all the comments and your responses, as to what you mean by
"the less intensely a person is invested in their Judaism, the easier they find it not to judge those that are less observant. But the harder they find it to judge right from wrong."
If what you mean is that the more invested one is in one's Judaism, the more one will know about what is considered right and wrong according to halacha, then that doesn't sound unreasonable. If what you mean is that one who is less invested lacks the tools to know right from wrong generally, then I can't agree with you. One can absolutely know right from wrong without being committed to the practice of any religion, whether Judaism or any other.
Thanks!
I mean being able to quickly and easily resolve a moral dilemma, whether halachic or philosophical. Dealing with a similar theme in the comment section of my "God: Up, Up, Down, Down" post.
To me the idea that moral dilemmas can be solved quickly and easily means there are none. I feel uncomfortable with the idea that there are no ambiguous moral issues, no multi-sided problems. I am more sympathetic to the actual debates in the history of Torah interpretation that expose the different aspects of moral problems than to the idea that there is an easy answer in each case.
Fortunately, life provides us with enough sticky issues to wrangle with, even with the clear guidance (do I attend the intermarriage of a close family member? End of life issues, etc). But the daily stuff, while not always "quick and easy" emotionally, has in the Torah a ray of clear daylight to shine on the murkiness.
Would you attend the intermarriage of a close family member? A Reform friend? Does the general character of the fiance(e) matter at all in this calculus?
I don't know, since I've never personally experienced the dilemma. What I do know, is that I would consult my rabbi to shed Torah wisdom on the matter. I also know that this particular issue is highly dependent on the individual dynamics.