(spoiler: sobering post ahead)
Two weeks ago, I posted the following request on Facebook:
“Friends, I don’t usually ask for this but perhaps you could, right now, spare a moment to offer up a prayer in whatever language you know for two women who are on my mind.
Naomi bas Rosalia, a woman who fell here today at our conference and is in serious condition in the hospital. Ahuva bas Sara, a young mom in our community with breast cancer who’s having scans tomorrow at 9 am. I truly appreciate the gesture of care and solidarity. May we share only good news.”
It’s two weeks later, and here’s the update on Nelly, the woman who fell, that I received last night via email:
“She has been in the Rehab Hospital now for 10 days and she’ll probably be there another 10 days. She has 3 hours of therapy a day – walking, going up and down stairs, etc. She is doing very well, but it will be a long recovery to get back to normal. She did have a significant brain injury, but thank G-d, she has no cognitive issues. In fact, she did the math and logic tests at the hospital so fast that the staff commented they couldn’t think as fast as Nelly could. Nelly works with the financial computer systems for the National Endowment for the Arts, so she is definitely gifted in math. Her stitches and staples in her head came out yesterday, so she is looking forward to washing her hair!”
The second woman, Ahuva, passed away last Friday.
None of us thought Nelly would make it.
None of us thought Ahuva would die.
On Rosh Hashanah, we recited the following:
“For Your Name signifies Your praise: hard to anger and easy to appease, for You do not wish the death of one deserving death, but that he repent from his way and live. Until the day of his death You await him; if he repents You will accept him immediately. It is true that You are their Creator and You know their inclination, for they are flesh and blood. A man’s origin is from dust and his destiny is back to dust, at risk of his life he earns his bread; he is likened to a broken shard, withering grass, a fading flower, a passing shade, a dissipating cloud, a blowing wind, flying dust, and a fleeting dream.”
Life and death are in His hands – in the space of one second, everything can change. A person of faith really, truly, literally believes this with every fiber of his being.
Remember “Our Town”? Remember when Emily decides to return to Earth to re-live just one day, her 12th birthday? She finally finds it too painful, and realizes just how much life should be valued, “every, every minute.” Poignantly, she asks the Stage Manager whether anyone realizes life while they live it, and is told, “No. The saints and poets, maybe – they do some.” She then returns to her grave, watching as George sadly kneels at her graveside. The Stage Manager comments on the probable lack of life beyond Earth, and the play ends.
When Nelly fell, I thought, “There, but for the grace of God go I.” That I am safe any moment of any day is a miracle worthy of gratitude at all times. And when Ahuva died, I thought, “There, but for the grace of God go I.” Do I realize how much life should be valued “every, every minute?” Do you?
If you had one day left, what would you do with it? Because, you know, not everyone gets the proverbial 120 years to fix those mistakes and get it right. Today, this minute, tell someone you love that you love them. Decide to finally do that one mitzvah you’ve been planning on. Say a sentence of gratitude to God – for life, that most precious, most underappreciated gift. Blink, and you miss it.
Such a good reminder about gratitude and miracles. I'm so sorry to hear that Ahuva did not make it.
Beautiful post!
Very sad about Ahuva, and Nelly's story is also a hard one for sure.
The question what someone would do if it were her/his last day is always a strange one, because it seems to suggest that we should live that way every day. But if it were my last day I would not do laundry or save my money, so we can't REALLY live that way in the long term. Isn't part of the OJ idea to live according to these rigid rhythms that don't involve big changes of priorities based on happenstance circumstances? Is there a Jewish rule about what you should do if you know it is your last day (or month)? Obviously your reminder here is to notice and appreciate and express gratitude, but are there OJ rules about what to do if you know that your own end is near?
There are. One is to repent and there is a specific text for repentence to say. There's also a teaching that one should "repent one day before he dies" and since we don't know when we'll die, we should engage in introspection every day. Another idea, if one knows his end is near, is to ask forgiveness for anyone who might need it.
What does OJ say are the consequences of not repenting before you die? And do you have to repent for specific individual acts, and therefore keep account of all of them, or is it a general repentance for all the errors, hurts, sins etc.?
The consequences exist in the afterlife. If you don't mind the store before you go, it'll be a mess upon arrival (so to speak). If you know specifically that there are things you need to repent for – like a long-standing feud, money you've owed people and never repaid, insulting someone publicly – you should certainly repent for those. Otherwise/also, general repentance.