Mazel tov! My half-birthday was last week, on February 26th. This means I now own forty, by virtue of being more than halfway through it. Here’s forty… so far.
Forty is
letting go
of old stuff
(if you haven’t needed it yet, you probably won’t).
So forty is
release.
Forty is
learning to accept and love yourself
as is
whether you radically change or not
because this is the you God gave you
and it is the you you need to be.
So forty is
acceptance of self.
Forty is
forgiving others for the things they did
when they were sad
scared
hungry
impulsive
and just being themselves
(just like you accept yourself).
So forty is
forgiveness.
Forty is
a new chapter for family
with teens
and tweens
and young ‘uns
to hug you and remind you that you do, in fact, know everything.
A this-is-your-forever-family awareness
so forty is
loving and identifying unconditionally with my family.
Forty is
finally, arriving at that station called “gratitude”
where, because you’ve actually lived a bit of life
understand – though sometimes need reminding –
that your life, while interesting, is full of
goodness
love
smiles
kisses
and hugs
from Above
and that if you blink you’ll forget.
So forty is
gratitude.
Forty is
understanding once and for all
that you are not your body
but your soul
and that your body will probably continue to decline
but it’s okay,
because
you never were your body in the first place
so forty is
I am my soul
Forty is
remembering that old friends will always be there for you
and that old memories are so fun
such a gift
that old friends will never judge you
and that making time for them is not optional
but a soul-need
and maybe you have a little more time for them now
so forty is
old friendships.
Forty is
starting to realize how grown-ups make terrible mistakes
and that if you’re not careful you can make them too
so you’d better work on that
ego
temper
impatience
self-importance
before you become one of them.
So forty is
mussar.
Forty is
looking my husband in the eye
and understanding that he is my soul-partner for life
no matter what
and that forever really does mean forever
and understanding that together
we can handle anything God throws our way
so forty, then,
is a renewal of all those words we said when we were twentysomethings
but only now understand their import.
And forty is
realizing that is takes a village
of family, friends, faith
and mostly God
loving me forever
holding my hand for keeps
as I walk through this journey
that is at once all mine and that of my circle of support
including all of them
and knowing
only I can live forty
to the highest heights.
Forty.
wonderful!! mazal tov!may you continue to use the wisdom Hashem has given you to guide yourself and your family, and your ever widening circles of friends and community, b'darchei noam v'netivot shalom, may you enjoy your blessings and may they ever increase.
This is amazing, Ruchi! While I still have a few months to go, so much of what you said has been slowly creeping into my awareness in recent months. I'm so glad I'll have this to look to as 40 really hits – to keep me aware. So thank you for being a year older!
Beautiful!
we love you more each year. you are only improving with your wonderful husband.
Mazal tov on your half-birthday! May you continue to see nachas, growth, siyata dishmaya, gezunt, parnosa and endless brocha from shomayim! Ad me'ah v'esrim!
Now that I am 45(ish), I think I finally understand 40. I am a little slow on the uptake sometimes!
I saw you kids fishing at Shaker HorseShoe lake last summer. Could not figure out wat was going on.
Today I met your husband and he told me that this is your blog and that the fishing was some sort of
ancient archaic Hebrew ritual. I am going to check this out.
Keep up the good work and have fun.
What archaic hebrew ritual was that?
Perfect! I agree completely. I am just hitting 45 and my 40s have been my best decade yet. I think I am finally getting the hang of this project called life, including knowing that it will throw more curveballs my way.
I love this! And remember that 60 is the new 40, or maybe even 70…?
Gratitude, patience, acceptance, forgiveness. Oh yes! And I find that part of acceptance if myself is to remember that I have to take care of myself if I want to take care of anyone else. So sometimes the answer to a request is “no” or “not now” or at the very least, “let me think about it and get back to you” before I say “yes,” and always with a “bli neder.” 🥰
Ruchi, may you and your family be blessed. I have tremendous gratitude specifically for the impact you have had on me and continue to have. Thank you!!! ❤️