Mazel tov!  My half-birthday was last week, on February 26th.  This means I now own forty, by virtue of being more than halfway through it.  Here’s forty… so far.

Forty is
letting go
of old stuff
(if you haven’t needed it yet, you probably won’t).
So forty is
release.

Forty is
learning to accept and love yourself
as is
whether you radically change or not
because this is the you God gave you
and it is the you you need to be.
So forty is
acceptance of self.


Forty is
forgiving others for the things they did
when they were sad
scared
hungry
impulsive
and just being themselves
(just like you accept yourself).
So forty is
forgiveness.

Forty is
a new chapter for family
with teens
and tweens
and young ‘uns
to hug you and remind you that you do, in fact, know everything.
A this-is-your-forever-family awareness
so forty is
loving and identifying unconditionally with my family.

Forty is
finally, arriving at that station called “gratitude”
where, because you’ve actually lived a bit of life
understand – though sometimes need reminding –
that your life, while interesting, is full of
goodness
love
smiles
kisses
and hugs
from Above
and that if you blink you’ll forget.
So forty is
gratitude.

Forty is
understanding once and for all
that you are not your body
but your soul
and that your body will probably continue to decline
but it’s okay,
because
you never were your body in the first place
so forty is
I am my soul

Forty is
remembering that old friends will always be there for you
and that old memories are so fun
such a gift
that old friends will never judge you
and that making time for them is not optional
but a soul-need
and maybe you have a little more time for them now
so forty is
old friendships.

Forty is
starting to realize how grown-ups make terrible mistakes
and that if you’re not careful you can make them too
so you’d better work on that
ego
temper
impatience
self-importance
before you become one of them.
So forty is
mussar.

Forty is
looking my husband in the eye
and understanding that he is my soul-partner for life
no matter what
and that forever really does mean forever
and understanding that together
we can handle anything God throws our way
so forty, then,
is a renewal of all those words we said when we were twentysomethings
but only now understand their import.

And forty is
realizing that is takes a village
of family, friends, faith
and mostly God
loving me forever
holding my hand for keeps
as I walk through this journey
that is at once all mine and that of my circle of support
including all of them
and knowing
only I can live forty
to the highest heights.

Forty.